Character Dynamics and Knowing Who to Trust
On a positive note, I like what Melody Beattie once said, that “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
Denied Ostrich Syndrome
Who hasn’t experience denial in one form or another, when faced with a threatening or unpleasant truth? And why is that, when “the Truth is like turning on the Light” to see where you are going?! It is not a matter of people deflecting a person or truth; but rather, in most cases “the apathy of Truth” towards the person threatening your comfort zone. Interesting how denial runs similarly to the manipulative vein of denial and control! And why so many think that they "are loving" when, in fact, they lack the courage and conviction of love by uncalled for acts of apathy and criticisms.
Weak and insecure people are more subtle in their outward communication and reasoning. Often they are prone to seek out wounded pigeons which they can control. Consequently these preverbal pigeons or ostrichages set themselves up for unwanted lessons (around the ole Family-Tree) that they’ve neglected or refused to learn. By using distractions, denials, and postponements, to defect from vital issues, they often dwell on the past “preventing them from living in the now and rallying in their future. Insecurity is often mixed with a sense of pride and self-sufficiency within the arena of their comfort zone. And when faced with the violation of a new friend’s Line “crossed,” few might discern their tactical play-off (using the reactions of the one who set a standard) justifying the aloofness for not-wanting change.
Many may justify “it’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept!” And with most relationship I suppose you can do that; but with family this can be ultimately and inadvertently against the very code of Love and Loving. And yet, never allow anyone to rain on your parade or cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Your time is too precious to be weighed down by the past, sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces. How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him (as Frank Herbert says).
As the Holy Scriptures say: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered (Proverbs 22:24).” For it is written (Proverbs 29:22), “An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” Remember too, a fool has “a thousand and one reasons why his muck doesn’t stink!” Guilt will always toss blame in the direction of an Escape-Goat. And you and thousands of others can be one without knowing, when associating with those who’d rather bury their head in the sand rather than to look for answers which bring CHANGE or LIGHT.