A Quick Reading For Daesh (or ISIS, or ISIL)

The Divine Mr. R. By The Divine Mr. R., 24th Jun 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Divination>Fortune Telling

A quick reading for the organization known as Daesh for the next few months.

Introduction and The Basics

Hello once again my loyal readers! It’s me, your old pal The Divine Mr. R, and do I have something special for you. Now, I have no clue what the Hell possessed me to do this, and frankly I’m not thinking too hard about it, but I decided to try something special today. Today, I did a bit of a card reading, nothing fancy, just a standard three card plus an extra to elaborate on something that was confusing (didn’t help.) But it’s not what I did, but who I did it for that takes the damned cake.

I did a card reading for none other than the biggest pack of douche-canoes currently blighting our world today. Granted, that’s a relative judgement, but I don’t think many of you will object to my nominating these folks; I performed a card reading for goddamn Daesh. At least, that’s what they’re called over in the Middle East by most people. They call themselves ISIS, or ISIL, and other people who insist on acknowledging their fake status as a nation do the same. Well screw it, they’re Daesh to me, and I gave them a quick divinatory look-over to see how things will be faring for them in the next few months. The results were interesting, to say the least.

Medium: A pack of Bicycle playing cards.
Spread: Three plus One for clarity
Question: What do the next three months look like for the terrorist organization, Daesh?

The Reading Itself

After shuffling and asking the required question to give it some shape, I drew an Eight of Spades, a Joker, and a Seven of Hearts. I’ll note the card used for elaboration (and what I’m elaborating on) at the end.

The Eight of Spades in my format means something akin to an argument, or an inability to make one’s voice heard clearly. Now, with an individual, that’s what it would mean. However, I’m reading for a whole damned organization, which means this takes on a much bigger meaning. In the case of Daesh, this shows a communication breakdown in the first month. Internal communication will be screwed up as memos are likely lost, and propaganda will be next to useless (if it’s deployed at all.) There’s also the possibility of radio, cell phone, and internet communication getting screwed up for them. Members defecting looks quite likely as internal propaganda falls flat on its face, and the younger men who make up the ranks lose interest and get tired of taking crap from higher-ups who are using them as muscle. This is compounded by taking bullshit from their “fellow soldiers” who patrol with them.

The second month shows itself in the Joker card. This is a context-sensitive card in my spreads. With positive cards, it’s closer to a “happy accident,” with negative spreads, it’s closer to “unforeseen circumstances that will wreck your good mood.” In this case, it shows a random series of x-factors, nearly unavoidable that will contribute to the chaos of the previous month. This is absolute havoc, almost like God himself were giving them something to think about. The communication breakdowns of the first month will be continued through seemingly random accidents. Again, think radios and computers breaking down, equipment failure far out the ass. Misunderstood messages tinged with spite because someone felt slighted to begin with will likely occur at this time.

The third month is represented by the Seven of Hearts. I know what you’re thinking (probably,) “a heart card, that can’t be bad!” Normally it’s a good card, but it’s context sensitive. All divination methods tend to be like that. Hearts are love, yeah, but the Seven of Hearts is love corrupted. It’s become hate, or even fear. Within the ranks, the gung-ho attitude and fervor of the young members will have become twisted by the previous couple of months. They will be looking inward at their commanders and their fellows, and not liking what they see. Naturally, they are likely to lash out at them, or at least try and jump ship while the getting’s good. The higher ups will most likely respond in kind, abandoning their former charges or even attacking them to save their own asses. You didn’t expect a happy ending for these people, did you?

Now, onto the card used for elaboration. I wanted some clarification on the Joker card that was drawn for the second month, because just saying “random shit” seemed a bit anti-climactic. However, when I requested elaboration from my deck and drew the card, I ended up with….


A damned Joker to clarify the previous Joker card. So to elaborate on the second month, yeah, it actually seems to be genuine supernatural interference. It’s either the result of every priest, rabbi, and imam praying that Daesh finally gets stopped. Hard.

Or it is something so outlandishly unexpected, that the cards just aren’t registering it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is possible to have that much crazy going on. It’s fine, though. Think of this as a good kind of crazy.

Unless you happen to be leading a vicious terrorist organization… Then you’re kind of screwed.


Cartomancy, Daesh, Divinationfortune-Telling, Isil, Isis, Isis Terrorists

Meet the author

author avatar The Divine Mr. R.
The Divine Mr. R. is an intuitive reader, writer, and Urban Shaman from the Ohio Valley. He will be writing about divination, the paranormal, and chiming in with advice.

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author avatar Peter B. Giblett
24th Jun 2015 (#)

This is an interesting reading. As I read it I thought of a news report I saw last night - Kurdish forces have taken an ISIS base and are advancing on several Syrian cities - the Kurds being divided into 4 countries are today looking for their own national unity so may be a big thorn in ISIS's side.

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
30th Jun 2015 (#)

I wish your predictions come true. Right now these people whatever you call them are causing havoc. A few days back they attacked and killed many in places like Tunisia, France, Kuwait and now Kabul. Their reach seems to be extending, and their ranks are swelling with volunteers from all over the world. I see the prognosis is far from good. I hope I'm wrong.
I commend you for writing this.

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