Am I Being a Good Friend?

Phyl CampbellStarred Page By Phyl Campbell, 14th Aug 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2o9pswok/
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Personal Development>Social Abilities

Many adults ask themselves "am I being a good friend?" It's hard. Whether you find yourself offering excuses or giving them, a friend understands about chaotic schedules caused by life, family, or other obligations.

Yes, I am a good friend!!

If you find yourself asking this question, and you are not currently taking advantage of anyone, chances are you are being a good friend. As adults with children, jobs, commitments, and overall busy lives, it can be hard to be the same kind of friend you were as a young person. The positive thing is, the same is true for the adult who is your friend. The negative side is – the same is true for the adult who is your friend. While two heads are better than one, two schedules are harder to navigate than one. The following suggestions may help you maintain your friendship and your sanity.

Make yourself available

if your schedule is too busy, it is no wonder that you don’t have time to be with your friends. You also want to be sure not to neglect your family or other obligations. But if you feel like you’re never in touch, send a quick text or e-mail. Let the other person know that you’re busy, but never too busy to care.

If you are the available one

If it seems like your friends are always busy, don’t fret! Life is hard and life is too short. Smile when you do get to see your friends. Assure them that you understand about their busy lives. Find ways to keep yourself busy – maybe even by writing a Wikinut article!!

The friend who understands is the friend who's kept around!! Friends who are not understanding may be viewed as selfish, "loners," or unreasonable.

Give only what you will not regret

This sounds simple, but is hard. If you are very busy, you may feel that you are letting your friends down. If you spend a night with your friends, you may worry that you are missing time with your children or family. Can you combine the two? If you are with your friends, and it is getting late, don’t be embarrassed to say you want or need to be home with your family. If your friends are worthy, this will earn you respect. Perhaps they will see in you self-discipline they desire for themselves.

If you work, and know someone else who is home with kids, perhaps you can ask them to watch kids in exchange for running errands on your way home. Or vice-versa.

If you are constantly making yourself available, and as a result are alone without plans, you may want to cut back on what you offer. You do not want to be sitting alone being upset that your friends do not have time for you!! This can cause hurt feelings that no one wants to have or cause!! Make plans with your spouse or your children. Make some new friends at places you may frequent – the bookstore, library, or park. When your old friends are able to connect with you, they will be pleased you have new friends, and a wider social circle. Everyone benefits.

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Tags

Busy Lives, Complications, Friends, Friendship, Stress

Meet the author

author avatar Phyl Campbell
I am "Author, Mother, Dreamer." I am also teacher, friend, Dr. Pepper addict, night-owl. Visit my website -- phylcampbell.com -- or the "Phyl Campbell Author Page" on Facebook.

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Comments

author avatar Phyl Campbell
14th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks, Steve! I really appreciate the quick acceptance and the star!

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
14th Aug 2013 (#)

lovely writ Phyl...you make a very good friend...

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
15th Aug 2013 (#)

Thanks, Carolina. I certainly try!!

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author avatar Connie McKinney
15th Aug 2013 (#)

Agreed. I bet you are a great friend, Phyl. And a great writer, too!

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
15th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you, ma'am!!

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author avatar LOVERME
15th Aug 2013 (#)

whats the star for good friend or good write OK u
still well deserved it

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author avatar Delicia Powers
19th Aug 2013 (#)

very nice, thanks Phyl...

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author avatar GEORGETA POPOIU
19th Aug 2013 (#)

In my country, Romania, is said to be'' known'' friend in need, in trouble, when in trouble, if the rescue, or disappears like a coward?

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
20th Aug 2013 (#)

Georgeta, yes, but there is trouble and then there is just busy. If a friend is only around for a good time, and unwilling to help, then that person is no friend. But this is difficult to know sometimes, whether a friend needs help or space. Thanks for your comment.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
20th Aug 2013 (#)

LOVERME and Delicia -- thanks!

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author avatar vickylass
22nd Aug 2013 (#)

I agree, but I´d like to add up that one has to have its friends (if only one of them) when in trouble or hard times. Otherwise, those friends one thought one had aren´t such good friends. Bad times are a real tester for friendship.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
23rd Aug 2013 (#)

Vickylass, see Georgeta's comment and my response. This is not an article about bad times.

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author avatar Rose*
24th Dec 2013 (#)

The key thing is empathy. Sometimes friends can't help because they're too busy sorting out their own troubles.

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
25th Dec 2013 (#)

True enough, Rose. Thanks for your comment.

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