Bugg: A Dog's Life & Loss of A Friend

Denise OStarred Page By Denise O, 23rd Oct 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1flr9gjj/
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Pets>Dogs

Yes Bugg is my dog for the most part but, he has so much love to give that there is plenty to go around for the whole family. Though with giving love, at times it is also means getting it taken away.

Bugg

I have gone over in my head many of times just what I would write about when I did get back to writing after losing my best friend and lover for the last 25 years and here is where I sit. Writing about two of my favorite subjects, my husband and my dog Bugg, it just seems so fitting. Also being back to Wikinut seems like a good fit for me at this time, it is like Bugg, warm, a bit fuzzy and comforting.

As some of you know, my husband Dan passed away on September 9, 2014, after a long search to find out just what was ailing my wonderful husband. Five days before he passed away we found out what it was, cancer of his abdomen. Though I will in time speak of our journey to the bitter end, I want to focus on how it has affected our dogs, especially Bugg.

Bugg has always been a very loving kind of guy, he will lick ya until the cows come home and then some, he would pace the floor when Sweet Tee would decide to take a jaunt and stay out all night looking for things to get into.

Normal: Huh?!?!

This has been no exception with the loss of his master and one of his best friends. At times when I am taking Bugg outside he stops at the basement door, smells the ground, looks up at me as if to say, "Where is daddy?". It is the saddest sight one can see and it tugs at your heart as if you can not get in one more breath no matter how hard you try to suck in.

I know that is how it hits me and it always seems to bring tears to my eyes, it also makes me yearn for Dan to walk through that basement door just one more time and say "Hey Buggah boy!" and then give me a kiss.

Do dogs feel these emotions, do they yearn for their loved ones to come back to them, I must say "Yes, they do!" and they do it at times, even deeper than we human beings do. Bugg and I have lost our friend and I don't know when we will be back to normal again or if we ever will.

Handling it all

Bugg knew things were not right back on Sunday night August 10, 2014 when our son and I had decided to take Dan to the emergency room. We had been trying to figure out what was wrong with Dan since December of 2013, he was steadily losing weight but, all the test were coming back negative and benign, though that Sunday night we knew things were just not right.

As with most folks we didn't give the dogs no mind at the time, we just knew Dan needed to get to the emergency room and quick. I did not realize at the time that I would spend almost all of the 29 days in the hospital with my husband, only to leave the dogs behind.

We take it for granted that they will just go on their merry'ol way and carry on and yet, they too feel and know that things are just not right, they might not know exactly what but, they are not stupid and they do have feelings, we must remember this.

I am able to feel my husband at this very moment shaking his head up and down in agreement, just as if he was standing right in front of me.

He is 'Only' Dog

As I was having my fight to help save my husband's life in the hospital, Bugg was at home, left by his two best friends and I did not even think of him for the first week, one thing I will never do again. I say this because, I saw what the impact has done to Bugg and Sweet Tee and they too are mourning the loss of one they love so deeply.

Bugg doesn't have his usual spring in his step, I know some might say this is because I am so devastated and that might have some truth to it but, Bugg has seen me go through loss like I did when my Mama passed away in 2008, only a week later for my other friend (dog) Boo to lose his life also, it hurt me so and to this day I still have some of my bad days missing them two.

No, he is mourning, he is hurting, he is missing and yes, he also is crying his heart out at the thought of never again hearing his master drive up in our yard after a long day at the job.

Bugg still runs to the window around the time Dan would come home at night after work, in the hopes that he too at any moment will get that big hug hello he so yearns for. Only for it never to come and after an hour or so he sighs, goes and lays down and falls asleep. I know just exactly what he is going through as I do the same.

Yes We Hurt

I am trying to help Bugg get through this but, it is hard as I am not able to explain to him where his master is, as I am so able to explain to all the rest of the folks that too hurt that Dan is no longer walking here on earth.

We must remember that our pets/friends need extra love, they need extra hugs and they too need to have time to put it all in perspective. They are not robots they are living creatures that have become part of your family.

They are one of us and as we hurt yes, they hurt too, do not underestimate the loss a dog feels when they lose one they love.

I hope and pray that I am able to get through this and I also hope and pray our dog Bugg will too because, I need him just as much as he needs me at this time in our lives.

Bugg Still Has Me

I don't care if this is not the best work I have ever turned out, at least my husband is looking down at us and he sees we are trying to carry on and together we will get through this, we will once again laugh a true laugh and we will stop crying every other minute of the day.

This is how Dan would have wanted it and this is how we will carry on.

I hope y'all at Wikinut do not mind that Bugg and I... just had to come home again.

Thank you for being here.

Take Time to Enjoy the Pictures of Life

My Husband Stands Tall

Tags

Bugg, Cancer, Death, Denise O, Dogs, Family, Loss, Love, Pets

Meet the author

author avatar Denise O
I live in Georgia, USA. I am a granny to 3 precious children. I am Mama to Bugg and two human beings. I was once married to a wonderful, Dan.

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Comments

author avatar Steve Kinsman
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Yes indeed dogs feel emotions strongly, and I'm sure he misses Dan very much. Both Carol and I want you to know you are very much in our hearts these days Denise. And I for one am extremely pleased you're back writing for Wikinut again. Welcome home!

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author avatar Denise O
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Awww thank you my dear friend Steve. Carol has just been an absolute doll, she is a keeper my friend. I was just on your article about an article a man had written about doubting the truth of astrology, what a interesting article and the debate after was riveting to say the least. It feels good to be home and I am so happy it was you that had moderated my first page coming home. For some reason or another it just seems fitting. Steve I so miss him it hurts more than I ever thought it would, he is my one and he will always be. Though I do have friends that keep telling me I will find someone else, I just shake my head and think, no there will not and I am truly fine with that, I just wish they would understand. You see my friend, as my Nana always said about Grandpa... When you had the best, why try any of the rest. I hope you are doing okay now, I have had you in my thoughts throughout this whole time I have been away. I know some folks might think, you and Steve but, but, y'all argue, well yes we do but, you are able to debate and even argue and still have love for that human being... I mean... duh! LOL As always, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Absolutely! :-))

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

So sorry to hear about loss of your dear husband, Denise. Some types of cancer can lie undetected. I do hope you find some comfort in knowing that our thoughts are with you in this tough time for you, family and Bugg.

I can vouch that our fellow travelers are more like us than we ever realize and we have seen videos of even lions and tigers behaving like domesticated animals when we extend our hand of love and compassion. Take care my friend - siva

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author avatar Denise O
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Thank you my dear friend Siva, you always have the right words at the perfect time for us and I am grateful you are in my life. Sadly my friend, if the doctors would have just listened then we would have found it but, they thought they knew better. I am just so grateful that I had Dan to love me for as long as he did, I can say I am a better person for it. Oh Siva Bugg is having a hard time but, we will walk through this together. As always, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Buzz
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

I'm sad about your loss, dearest friend, even as I knew your ordeal even before Dan passed away. It's time to move on and it's a source of consolation that you have Bugg and Sweet Tee as you do so.

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author avatar Denise O
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Awww Buzz thank you so much for your very kind words my friend. Yes you have been there with me through it all and I am so grateful you have been here. They truly are good friends to me and they are a comfort. Though now both have to sleep with me so it has made for a little less sleep. LOL Yep, things do keep moving sadly but, they must keep moving on for the world to go around. Love ya my friend. As always, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

I am sorry about the loss of your husband, but it is a blessing that you had Bugg to be a support.
Glad to have you back here Denise.

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

hank you Mark, yep Bugg is always a goodie to have around. As always, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Delicia Powers
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Denise I am shocked and so very sadden by the news of your loss...you have always been for me a symbol of strength in your courage in dealing with whatever direction life's path has taken...my prayers and thoughts are with you...so glad to see your post... writing is a great source of sharing feelings so deeply felt...hugs to you Denise and Bugg too!

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Hi my dear friend, that makes both of us. We had been looking for what had been ailing Dan since December but for cancer since January, only for all test to come back negative or benign. We did not expect it, it is just heart wrenching to say the least, I so miss my best friend. Thank you for stopping by my friend. In time I will write to you, it is just so much more than most of us women know to do at this time, I am still fighting with the insurance company, if I had only known what it all entailed I would have been ready for this but, I was not. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you but, like tomorrow I must go see a attorney to try and get things together, everyday since Dan has passed, it has been one thing or another. I have yet to even be able to mourn for him, it is just awful. Please bare with me, I will be back to my usual here and back to writing full time and also, supporting all of y'all. Loves ya hon :)

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author avatar C.D. Moore
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Thank you for sharing your heart about your love for your husband and your dog and welcome back to Wikinut!

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Thank you so much for the welcome. I just know some think I was not writing because of how I left a few years back but, as y'all now see, it was so much more. It is great to be back and as I told Delicia, soon I will really be back. Thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar M G Singh
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

What a lovely post Denise, tinged with sadness. I pray for you and hope you continue to write such lovely posts.

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Hey my dear friend, great to see you. Now you see why I have not gotten back to you, just heart breaking I tell ya, I so miss him. I will start posting once my life settles down, I so miss y'all. As always my dear friend, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Sorry for your loss Denise and what a nice post!

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Thank you Fern for your kind comment and thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
23rd Oct 2014 (#)

Denise, so so sorry my friend. I have been away a LONG time. I am sending you healing energy and a great big cyber hug.

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Hey my dear friend Melissa, I too have been gone for a long time. First my computer messed up, then we finally had gotten a new computer when Dan had gotten sick. It has been a long ride. Thank you for all your positive, healing energy I sure appreciate it. Love ya hon. As always, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar yugasini
24th Oct 2014 (#)

very nice dog, thanks for sharing.

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Hey hon, As always thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar WOGIAM
24th Oct 2014 (#)

Sorry to hear about your loss, Denise, very sad and I hope the memories that you all shared will continue to keep you all strong always. Peace

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Thank you so much for such a lovely post, I really appreciate it. Oh yes I have 25 years of wonderful memories with this man and I will never forget them, he is my one true love that will be with me for the rest of my life. Thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar tafmona
24th Oct 2014 (#)

thanks a lot for sharing

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Any time, I heal through my writing and in time I hope and pray I will be able to share a lot more. Us (they call us this) displaced homemakers need to know the info I am now learning the hard way and I believe in helping. Thank you for taking the time to stop by :)

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
24th Oct 2014 (#)

First, my deepest condolences for the loss of your husband. Second, we really missed you. Third, your account of your dog and its association with the family is indeed touching. It's a great write up as good as your poetry. I'm glad to see you're moving on and back to writing.

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Oh my dear friend what a wonderful face to see here on my page. I have missed y'all so much also but, my hubby needed me and I am so glad I was there up and until his last breath. I am so happy to be back, it still will take me a few to get back in the swing of things but, I will. I might not have been here but, y'all have always been in my heart and thoughts. Love ya my friend and as always, thank you for taking the time to stop by. :)

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author avatar Phyl Campbell
25th Oct 2014 (#)

Oh my goodness. You're making me cry and as someone terrified of dogs -- that's... well, still easy, because I'm a sucker with a big heart.
I am so sorry you are missing your husband. And I know pets feel losses, too.
I have missed you and many on here, but have been exploring some greener pastures and making less time for this site, myself. So now I look for people I really want to connect with and don't see other places -- people who do engage and treat this site as a group of friends who support each other.
So I'm really glad I saw your name and clicked, and I'm really sorry it was under these circumstances that you wrote. Take good care, please. I'll be thinking about you and sending you waves of peace.

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author avatar Denise O
28th Oct 2014 (#)

Hi hon, I too was starting a blog but, I do plan on staying here also, I figure it will help me (in so many other ways) network with my blog. I do miss y'all, y'all are family and part of my heart,, y'all will never be out of my life, period. Thank you for such a kind message, I really appreciate it. As always, thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Paul Lines
12th Dec 2014 (#)

A story of sadness so beautifully written. So sorry for your loss Denise, but I know you and Bugg will share memories of Dan together for a long time. We all will be thinking of you at this time

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author avatar Paul Lines
20th Dec 2014 (#)

Denise, I know this Chistmas holiday will be especially difficult for you this year, but I just wanted to pass on my best wishes to yoy and your family (including Bugg) and hope you will find some smiles and comfort in fond memories, Paul

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author avatar Denise O
26th Dec 2014 (#)

Oh Paul what a absolute sweet message you have left for me. Yes it is very hard at this time, my life is so messed up right now, I cry myself to sleep every night, I never knew it could hurt this bad. I did have a few smiles yesterday when I spoken to Tristan our grandson, he is such a joy in my life. One day I might be some what back to normal but, I don't see it coming anytime soon. Thank you for such a kind message, it means the world to me, especially right now. Bless you my friend. As always, thank you for stopping by. Oh and Merry Christmas and May you and yours get all you desire in the coming year :)

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author avatar viewgreen
4th Jan 2015 (#)

Awesome article with a great story about. Good to have a smart dog at home. Thank you for sharing this great posting.

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author avatar Denise O
5th Jan 2015 (#)

Thank you viewgreen for a very nice message, I appreciate it. Yes I do love my Bugg and I am glad I have him, sadly he is not right with me at this time,, it is breaking my heart I tell you. Thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar vpaulose
5th Jan 2015 (#)

Greetings, my sister DenisO

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author avatar Denise O
5th Jan 2015 (#)

Hi my dear friend VP, great seeing your face my brother. Thank you :)

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author avatar Utah Jay
5th Jan 2015 (#)

We lost our dog last year, but a cat fallowed me home one day. My wife says she sits in the window and waits for me, she starts meowing when she hears the car. When my sister died we took her old dog home with us and I could see her pain...missing her. What a beautiful story you given us, touched us with your heart. I sense a tenderness in you and it touches us all.

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author avatar Denise O
6th Jan 2015 (#)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, it is very hard. That cat was hooked on you from the onset, that is why she followed you home, she knew. Oh I am sure, the poor girl. I have thought of given our Bugg away, as the world has not been kind to him and I these last few months but, he would be lost without me. Also since writing this article we have lost our Sweet Tee, so Bugg has been hit twice by loss. I am a kind person but, I must admit that I pray each and every day that it stays, since losing my best friend/hubby, life has not been very kind to Bugg, my brother Billy and I, sadly. Thank you for your very kind words and for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Vickie Collins
6th Jan 2015 (#)

Very very moving read. I have cats, and they get attached also. Not the same way, but in their own. They love also. But there is just something about doggy love.

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author avatar Sherri Granato
6th Jan 2015 (#)

This is such a wonderful post. Congratulations on your star page.

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author avatar Denise O
21st Jan 2015 (#)

Thank you for your kind words and for stopping by. :)

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author avatar Shamarie
6th Jan 2015 (#)

I am so sorry to hear about loss of your husband, Denise! I lost a family member to Cancer so I know the feeling. I am glad you had a Bugg for support. Thanks for sharing a lovely article. God bless! Congrats on the star page. Well-deserved!

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author avatar Denise O
21st Jan 2015 (#)

Thank you hon, God bless you. Yes cancer is just awful, I detest the disease with all my being. Thank you for your kind words. Yes Bugg is more of a comfort than most can imagine, he is my best friend. Thank you for stopping by:)

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author avatar Jenny Heart
15th Jan 2015 (#)

I lost my husband almost 4 yrs ago to a tragic motorcycle wreck. I have found happiness once again and plan to marry soon.

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author avatar Denise O
21st Jan 2015 (#)

I am so sorry for your loss. Though I am so happy for you and your happiness you have found once again. Bless you. I am still trying to figure it all out and well, not doing that great with it all but, time will heal. Thank you for stopping by. :)

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author avatar PJ Dorantes
22nd Jan 2015 (#)

i am sorry for your loss. And thank you, for sharing a piece of your life with us.

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author avatar Carol
27th Jan 2015 (#)

Denise I have only just seen this , I had no idea you were back on Wikinut, but I am so glad you are, welcome back! I am so sorry you have lost your beloved husband, and yes you are right, dogs do miss someone when they die, and they do grieve. When John died, we had only had Purdy for 3 weeks, and in the beginning, she would not let me out of her sight. We grieved together. I am wishing that 2015 will be a better year for you and your family, and if you ever need someone to chat to, I am here for you. Xx

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author avatar Jenny Heart
3rd Feb 2015 (#)

My late husband died from a tragic motorcycle wreck almost 4 years ago. just do one think for yourself as i waited to long. Don't live in regret of anything. Live today like it was your last and be happy and full of hope. Your late husband would want you to smile daily and find peace and go one with your life

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author avatar ORourkeDesigns
17th Feb 2015 (#)

Denise I'm so sorry for the lost of your husband. That is something one never forgets but keep the good memories in you heart and it will help with the pain. Sending you hugs and many blessings.

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
19th Feb 2015 (#)

you are very blessed having your dog and i am sure on a level he understands...your giving him so much love is such a blessing as you are too...hugs and kisses....

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author avatar D in The Darling
24th Aug 2015 (#)

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. May his Soul find Room In Paradise (RIP).

From God we came and unto Him is our return. So, may the time you shared and memories you made together live in your heart forever. I guess that's what eternity means and be proud of yourself that "till death do us part" wasn't just marital marketing gimmicky, you lived the married life and fulfilled it.

That's all for now. Till next time,
Wishing you, the best always!

D

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author avatar Judy Ellen
16th Oct 2015 (#)

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband Denice! It must be comforting to have your dogs though because at times they seem just like humans! I lost my dog Coco in January of 2013 and my oldest son to cancer in 2014. My two youngest children moved to Arizona in 2013. So I guess I know a little bit about losing loved ones too. It really hurts! I hope that God eases the pain of your loss. I am glad to see you back on Wikinut!

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author avatar krrymarie
27th Oct 2015 (#)

As you know I am so sorry for your loss. Am glad you got bugg though.
I thought I would pop on and have a.catch up been ages.
Take care my lovely xx

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author avatar Bets
26th Nov 2015 (#)

Dear Denise, I have been away from Wikinut, lost some interest due to outside causes. When I wanted to look at your page again I was saddened at your loss and feel helpless and so sorry for it. Thank you for sharing your feelings. It is important in time of loss. I especially liked this part, "Do dogs feel these emotions, do they yearn for their loved ones to come back to them, I must say "Yes, they do!" Makes one stop and think about it for awhile. How are you doing now? Try and have a happy feast with gatherings around you. Be merry as Dan would want for you. Do take care and I'm keeping you in my prayers too. Smiles, Bets

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author avatar Sky Rose
18th Dec 2016 (#)

Omg you made me cry. I am so sorry you have lost your love and best friend. I am sorry Bug will not see his daddy again for awhile. I believe your husband is not really gone and he is still there with you and your fur babies.

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author avatar Lakahong
27th Mar 2017 (#)

I am the professional international pet clothes shopping guide ,My

Facebook ID is www.facebook.com/epetmall , there is lots of dog

clothes show ,how to buy dog clothes ,here it is ,cheap and many

kinds of clothes ,

It have Usd 2/Pcs OR Usd 3/Pcs,but it is also very high quality

,Pls be remenber ,My facebook ID is www.facebook.com/epetmall ,

and also ,we can communication more about the dog clothes . Welcome

to visite my Facebook ID,thanks !

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author avatar Lakahong
27th Mar 2017 (#)

A great article ,thanks for your sharing ,you beautiful life with your and your lovely dog , Green land ,blue sky ,your cute pets ,so wonderful !!!

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Jul 2018 (#)

Lakahong, it has been a little over a year since you commented and just about 4 years since I lost wrote this article, unreal! LOL TY 4 your kind words and I am going to your FB wall. ☺

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author avatar Tranquilpen
4th May 2019 (#)

Hi dearest Denise, what a sad thing to have entered your space and peace you shared with your Dan. Then God sends you a wonderful host of heavenly angels, who loved and miss your presence in their lives. They are the real angels in our lives. I have been away with my own losses and upheavals which tainted and marred also my space of peace. I, however am exeedingly grateful to still have my best friend and lover with me still. On 2nd March 1974, we got married, and we are still together and in love. I do my writing in the wee hours as always. I would like to share how much this post had affected me, I rolled the wheelchair into the room and gently woke her up, to tell her, how very important she is in my life. Thank you for reminding my of our special love for each other. Warmest regards, my very dear friend Denise O, Andre, Daleen and Anana, our "Bugg"

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