Determining Relationship Compatibility through Astrology

Steve Kinsman By Steve Kinsman, 16th Apr 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Divination>Astrology

This article points out that it takes a great deal of careful investigation and attention to ddetail to determine astrological compatibility.

Is this one the right one for me?

I have had clients who have seen me as often as once or twice a year, always showing up with the horoscope of their latest love interest, and always asking if this could be the one. It is almost invariably the case with these clients that they have their own issues around relationship which remain unhealed and which as a result preclude them from forming lasting relationships. Occasionally these clients would show up with the birth chart of someone where astrology would point to some very strong and positive connections, but they continued to fail at effecting anything deep or lasting. Until we make a commitment to self-healing, no manner of astrological compatibility revealed by comparing the two horoscopes is going to assure two people success in relationship.

One hundred percent compatibility doesn't exist

I have never seen the horoscopes of two people whose compatibility was shown to be 100 percent. When we look at the entire horoscope of each person involved, there is always an area - on most occasions more than one area - of incompatibility. This leads me to believe that we get together in relationships with others in order to 'work things out'. This is, in fact, how we grow. It's not too much of a stretch to say that life is about relationships. We get together with others to teach each other, learn from each other, reach compromise with each other, challenge each other and so on. My guess is that if I ever come across the horoscopes of two individuals whose compatibility from an astrological perspective approaches 100 percent, those two people are no doubt certain to end up completely bored with each other. Thus, we are compatible where we are compatible, and where we are not is where we are challenged to accept or accomodate the differences between us and find common ground wherever else we can.

Yet certain compatibility factors are a must for successful relationship

In my years of practice I have noticed that compatibility between Sun signs seems to produce on the whole more successful relationships than is the case when the two Sun signs are incompatible. Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) tend to fit better with other fire signs and with air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), and vise-versa. Earth Sign Suns (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) connect better with other earth signs and with water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), and vise-versa. The most successful relationships, generally speaking, seem to occur between air and fire (air fans the flames of fire), and water and earth (water nourishes the earth).
There are, however, plenty of exceptions to the above. A particular fire sign may get along famously with a particular water or earth sign, as a particular earth or water sign might be very comfortable in a relationship with an air sign. As astrolgers we have to take the entire horoscope of each person into full consideration. How do their respective Moons compare? Where is each person's Mars or Venus or Mercury?

Mercury is of vital importance to relationship compatibility, because through Mercury we communicate with each other. I remember long ago reading a book by astrologer Lois Rodden titled The Mercury Method of Chart Comparison, in which she asserted that Mercury was the most important factor regarding compatibility. After all, if you don't speak the same language, or if you can't think of what to say to another, how are the two of you going to make it?
I can speak from personal experience here, for I once had a relationship with a woman whose Sun was in the very same degree of my Moon, and my Mars was in the same degree as her Venus. We were intensely attracted to each other and because of the Mars-Venus connection we spent a great deal of time in bed together (I was young then). Yet when we were not in bed I used to sit with her and rack my brain thinking "what can I say to her to get a conversation going?" Our respective Mercury's were completely unconnected, so it was exceedingly difficult to get into flowing conversations. Needless to say that regardless of the sexual compatibility we inevitably drifted apart.

The importance of the ascendant or rising sign.

The ascendant or rising sign is the point on the eastern horizon at birth, and it has a great deal to do with your personality projection. In my experience, compatible rising signs may be even more important than compatible Sun signs, because for any individual the ascendant is the most personal point in the horoscope. If the two signs are compatible then the planets at any given time will be transiting through sectors of your respective charts that also relate compatably. This is particularly propitious if the couple in question have the same rising sign, which means that transiting planets will be triggering issues in the same house of each of their charts, so they would be dealing with the same kinds of issues at the same times in their lives. Having the same sign on the ascendant as your partner points to sharing experience.
Another factor I have noted in 35 years of experience, and this only minimally relates to astrolgy, is that couples whose birthdays each fall in even numbered years, and couples whose respective birthdays fall in odd-numbered years seem to have a higher degree of success in their relationships than those where one person is born in an even-numbered year and the other in an odd-numbered one.

Facing co-dependence first

As stated above, astrological compatibility, even a great deal of it as shown by comparing two birth charts to each other, is no guarantee of success in relationship. We will never successfully negotiate our way in 'signifigant other' relationships unless and until we completely step away from and eliminate patterns of co-dependence, which I would define as needing the other person to be there for you rather than with you.


Astrology, Compatibility, Dating, Horoscope, Partnering, Partners, Relationships, Steve Kinsman

Meet the author

author avatar Steve Kinsman
I live in California with my wife Carol, where I have been practicing professional astrology for 35 years. I write articles on astrology, but I enjoy writing on a variety of other subjects as well..

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author avatar Songbird B
16th Apr 2011 (#)

Excellent article, Steve, and I agree completely about the importance of learning from each other...these are the lessons that we need to go through, to
advance.This was really interesting and insightful. My husband is an Aquarius, and I am a Virgo, yet we get along so well, even though we are not 'suppose' to be truly compatible...A fascinating subject that I am enjoying learning more about. Thank you for an excellent share...

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
16th Apr 2011 (#)

Songbird B
Thank you. Virgo may be the one exception to the rule that air and earth don't mix well. Virgo is earth but it is also 'mental' because it's ruled by Mercury, the planet of the mind.

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