Go Without Losing Your Individuality

Linda PoitrasStarred Page By Linda Poitras, 17th Jul 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Philosophy>Personal Philosophy

It takes 2 to make any relationship work and starting a relationship is hard and takes work. They say 2 things are of benefits to a healthy relationship: 1) sharing your interest and 2) learning new things.

Good Morning Everybody ...

Been reeling in all directions these past few weeks. I've talked about living life on automatic, to sadness, DMA ... I've been through some hard wake up calls. Some are relatively easy to deal with ... some make you sick. But I thought I'd share a bit of what I've been learning lately.

It takes 2 to make any relationship work

Starting a relationship is hard and takes work. They say 2 things are of benefits to a healthy relationship: 1) sharing your interest and 2) learning new things.

They also say being in a relationship shouldn't change who you are. It should, on the contrary, add to your personality but never take away from it.

Being in a new relationship, you can get taken in by so much novelty that you sometimes prioritize the new relationship over everything. I mean, you can forget about family, your friends, going to the gym. You forget to see and call your family, you stop going out with your friends and forget about other activities your enjoyed before.

Most people find a balance between their life and their love over time

One thing to remember is that your partner was attracted to who you were so you don't want to give up on what made you "you".

When you meet someone special, it's natural to want to do all you can to please that person. But, while compromise is necessary for any relationship to work, you should NEVER feel like you have to give up on your individuality. Here's an important lesson, one I didn't pay attention to and ended losing. That lapse leaves to resentment down the road.

Some, fear being alone or losing someone they care about ...

to the point of being willing to do anything to keep and hold on to a relationship, EVEN if the relationship isn't strong and it may end up costing them themselves.

They have it in mind that any relationship is better than none.

The loss of identity is a gradual process. It could start by acting differently or hide certain aspects of your personality to your partner in fear that they might not like you. Maybe you dress differently, stop watching certain shows, or change the way you talk. As time goes by, you're turning yourself into a role of the person you think your partner would like you to be. For some the resentment is toward their partner and the relationship they worked so hard to hold on to. For others, it's a resentment toward themselves for turning into someone they don't know and don't like. Then you have those that resent partner and themselves.

If your partner is asking for some changes?

Ask why. Will it be to better your relationship? Most importantly, do you want to make the change? Learning something new that is important to your partner, like learning a sport or trying different foods is important. Just make sure you do the same in return. It is just as important for you to introduce your partner to things that are important to you. There are changes that won't let you lose sight of who you are like putting the toilet seat down or switching from Coke to Pepsi. BUT, you should pay attention to the requests that have you acting so differently that your friends and family are telling you "wow, you've changed ... and it's not for the best."

Being in a good relationship doesn't mean that you have to compete with each other

Fact is, you don't have to love the same things, enjoy the same activities, or agree on everything. You do however have to respect that there are things you love to do together and that each have their own interests too. Those differences can bring interesting discussions and appreciation for your partner.

YOU should NEVER LOSE WHO YOU ARE in a relationship

A healthy partnership should add to your identity, bring out sides of you that you never knew you had and show you things you never knew you would like. It's a discovery and adventure.

Be yourself. Expect your partner to love you for who you are and be prepared to love them back.

Well, I have to go for a bit, I hope you all have a good day. Be good to one another and don't take your freedom for granted because it's not a given for everyone to do so.

Before you go, grab yourself another coffee and have a listen to F**ckin’ Perfect, by Pink

I hope it put a smile to your face .. you are perfect ..

well ... You know the drill ...

SMILE! ... You're on life's candid camera!


Individual, Individual Person, Individualism, Individualism And Selfishness, Individuality, Own Self, Self, Self Awareness, Self Confidence, Self-Confidence, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem, Self-Improvement, Self-Realization

Meet the author

author avatar Linda Poitras
I was born and raised in Montreal, Quebec. In 2004 I married my American Mr. Man and 2 years later we moved to isla Margarita, Venezuela

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