Guilt-free Life is Blissful Life

Sivaramakrishnan AStarred Page By Sivaramakrishnan A, 18th Jul 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/40-eeos5/
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It is a fact many lead a guilt filled life unable to shake off what weighs them down. Once the causes are identified we can re-calibrate our thinking, even do a reboot if necessary, to lead ourselves to a path of fulfillment that is on auto-pilot.

Lifestyle Choices

We find ourselves driven more by others than exercising our personal choices. It is understandable as our basic instinct is survival and safety and that is a common trait for all species. However, we have a conscience, inner knowing, that guides us to the right path though we often take a shortcut or even ride rough shod over others. We may attain our goals defeating others along the way but however much we try to ignore our conscience by justifying our actions, it does prick. What we succeed in proves Pyrrhic in the end despite getting attention that is also mostly of the wrong type. But we are carried away by the glitter than the substance at all levels of existence though the majority knows where to draw the line. Having seen life from many angles, I have felt the anguish of those who had taken paths that recoil on them, but they are past retracing them. I have taken care to consciously avoid a lifestyle that leaves a trail of guilt though I cannot say I have attained bliss – okay, somewhere close to it! I have no regrets in life. One friend asked me since I have time at hand now after getting out of a busy life, am I into stock market, forex trading? I said those are areas that should be far from a retired life seeking peace of mind! Why sow seeds that can make me turn in my grave especially when even the last cent will be of no use then?

Balance in Life

I have observed some obviously blessed with comforts and pious, but leading a guilt-tinged life. They do what is necessary, play useful roles within family and society and yet are obviously unhappy. They have something missing in them – the fulfillment of a life well lived. Then there are others who live by the day but are carefree and willing to go the distance to help others without a second thought. Why the dichotomy – in fact, the first lot should be the ones to rise higher but are weighed down by a sense of guilt. It could well be due to their attitude to life in general, but I feel it is more due to their not matching their lifestyle with reality. A well rounded approach, give and take, and accepting others as they are should help them to get back to the right path. Balance in life is therapeutic while overdoing even those that benefit others can cause grief as the more one gives the more is the expectation. How to draw the line – be of help but stay within limits? That is a challenge as each should play their own roles than get spoiled rotten by few exuberant.

Reverse Robin Hood Syndrome

I have taken care to avoid a path that leaves a trail of guilt. Taking advantage of another may prove easy but we pay the price in many ways sooner than we think. We end up exploiting the weaker among society only to fall prey to the machinations of the cunning and greedy; sort of ending up playing the reverse role of Robin Hood – a double whammy in terms of acts that destroy the fabric of society. The right way is to give more than take in every way and that includes love, happiness, material wealth - just short-changing oneself to benefit others. On closer scrutiny, I find the poor do so as a matter of routine though it can enrich the already wealthy. I used to joke that $10 is dearer to the wealthy than the poor – is it not a matter of fact, an inconvenient truth even?

Attitude decides Altitude

When we take a closer scrutiny of what ails our world and our species, it becomes clear we are overlooking simple facets of life that cascade in effect and weaken the fabric of society. A guilt filled life is a burden not only to one who follows this lifestyle but leaves a pall of gloom around. Some fall prey to it due to their attitude to life though they are blessed otherwise. They deny themselves what is due to them; a blissful life to spread cheer around. Agreed some carry grudges and unable to shake them off – they should do a reboot to get rid of useless burden that only serves to weigh them down. I take proactive steps to shake off the deadwood as what others did to me is a lesson learned but not forgiving them is only hurting me more; agreed, I cannot completely forget the insults but it is their problem, not mine. We need to re-calibrate our internal thinking process once in a while to look ahead as everything including our time, thinking and action are trade-offs. A guilt-free life may pose a challenge but once we make up our minds it is on auto-pilot. When we consciously make the change in our outlook then the end result is a bliss-filled life that takes the right path for us to sit back and enjoy. We can even separate ourselves from the ride to have a helicopter view to take in all the sights to our hearts content. Nothing much matters to us then except to chip in as a matter of course, to help those in need.

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Links to my recent posts:


It Takes All Sorts to Make a World

Concept of Time is Fascinating, adds Purpose to Life

The Challenge to Build the World We Desire

Givers & Takers - Fact of Life

Reincarnation Defines the Oneness

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Tags

Altitude, Balanced Life, Blissful, Cascade, Conscience, Dichotomy, Greedy, Guilt, Inner Knowing, Life, Lifestyle, Pyrrhic Victory, Robin Hood, Species, Survival, Therapeutic

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
Professional accountant. General take on life, business, international news comments

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
18th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Steve for the moderation and awarding star merit, appreciated - siva

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author avatar Retired
18th Jul 2015 (#)

Yes, Siva, people are driven more by others than they are by themselves. This is evidenced by 'likes' on Facebook, thriving psycho therapy businesses, professional advisories, and other places, enterprises, and people who drive what we do ourselves.

For myself, nobody knows better what's good for me than me. Getting others input is fine, but the decisions and choices that drive one's actions ought to be determined by the individual alone, not what others choose for you to do. To do otherwise smacks of people who cannot think for themselves.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks LeRain, I see many are weighed down for no reason, their grouses are mostly imaginary - what they did to others live in their subconscious mind, or what others did to them that can make them carry a grudge. But they hardly matter in life and one can take corrective steps rather than carry these needless burdens.

I am not much into social networking sites. I remember Bill Gates reaction that Facebook was not his cup of tea (maybe, for obvious reasons) as he hardly knew those who tried to interact with him. Of course, he is in another league.

I too never judge others as one does not know how they are positioned in life. Wen one has an intractable issue, we can behave like one having a severe toothache, hate others including us! But the beauty is all issues are blown away by the incessant winds of life!

My motto is live and decide for myself but to benefit family and society, and that acts as a guilt reliever - siva

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author avatar pinks11
18th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks for sharing such enlightening words.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Pinks, appreciate your support - siva

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author avatar peachpurple
18th Jul 2015 (#)

Be an angel, life would be blssful

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

I do meet some angels and they blow me away by their spirit of sacrifice and the opposites too - the classic duality inherent in creation.

Thanks for your input Peachpurple - siva

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author avatar vandana7
18th Jul 2015 (#)

I thought if guilt overtakes, people go out of their way to do the reverse, almost overdoing some corrective measure. I thought people become good if they feel guilty, it is those who do not feel guilty after doing wrong like the terrorists beheading journalists, that scare me.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Vandana - some overlook the prompts from their conscience to the extent of suppressing it.

One rich was justifying his action to me - should not cheat a person, but no harm if banks are involved as they do not have a soul! Then there are few who justify saying everyone one is following this way to become rich. Another told me - if we follow the rules we will be out of business the same day!

My take was for those who needlessly get burdened by a sense of guilt - take corrective action than make it a part and parcel of life - siva

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author avatar vandana7
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Banks have norms which are flouted by bank officials. Those norms are also based on profit making motives. Cheating banks is definitely wrong because it creates a spoke somewhere in another profitable endeavor, which enterprise may be feeding many. So soul or not, it is wrong but I would be ok if the object was not to cheat, but to circumvent some silly loophole that people never thought much about. Like why can't two sisters buy a property jointly, when two brothers can.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Jul 2015 (#)

Yes Vandana I was just highlighting to what extent people go to justify their actions that are obviously illegal.

The majority will never stoop to that level and even repay on the dot whatever is demanded by banks. Another told me if we want to owe banks, owe big amounts as they will be on the defensive. Those who borrow little are easy prey! siva

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
18th Jul 2015 (#)

In life one either wrongs someone or gets wronged by someone. If this happens when one is young and the action affects the life of the second person in an irreparable way, such incidents haunt a person in his dreams especially when one is in the evening of lhis life. Very few can claim to live a life without hurting someone or getting hurt. It's no easy task to lead a blissful life unless one is insensitive or impassive to major events in life.

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author avatar vandana7
18th Jul 2015 (#)

I agree. That is honest assessment.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks again Vandana, I am gratified my article elicited varied views - siva

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks GVR, my take was to have a conscience and overcome the hurts in life.

I recall few incidents in my work and personal life. Though some were cantankerous in their approach and I had to endure them, now I take a view that circumstances made them act that way and times were just different.

I remember the times when bosses used to shout at and even insult subordinates, but those days are almost past! Human Resource Departments handle such in a more refined and "humane" way!

Our attitude decides and can overcome the hurts whether due to our own faults or otherwise. We cannot forget but can forgive very easily - siva

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author avatar Retired
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Another great post, dear Sivaji. Balance is key, indeed!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thank you Rama-ji for your encouragement.

My post was inspired by those who do well in life but get burdened with an attitude of guilt for no reason. The past experiences could be haunting them still, but I wanted to share how I manage to move on - siva

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author avatar brendamarie
19th Jul 2015 (#)

great article balance is the key to everything in life.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Brendamarie, appreciate your support - siva

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author avatar Retired
19th Jul 2015 (#)

I urge everyone to contact Sam and complain if you are being harassed by Steve Kinsmen. San's email is as follows: email@tinla.com.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Jessica, no issues as far as I am concerned - siva

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
19th Jul 2015 (#)

There is no human alive who is without guilt dear Siva ...Just by the very nature of our fallen human state we are all under the shadow of sin in one degree or another ( that is a word that many don't like to admit or even acknowledge in this day and age ) , but deep in our inner soul we all can recognise traits that invoke guilt , be it small or great ...and the quickest way to be free from the stain of guilt is
1) Own up to what it is that makes us feel guilty ... and
2) Forgive , or say sorry or release others ...
then we too can be released from guilt and its awful consequences .
I am so glad that God has made a way for us all to know such freedom , through believing His Son has taken our guilt and shame and nailed it to the cross ...
That is Grace and Mercy ..both needed to live a guilt free life my friend .
May the God of all grace be with you and bless you today and always .
In Him
...Stella ><

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks dear Stella for your input and thoughts. As I had said I manage to give more than take and that ensures a smooth ride without having a sense of guilt.

I don't remember hurting another in any way and just like I tell others if I had done so, or owe any money, to please feel free to remind me. Agreed, few have taken advantage of me but I take care that they don't endanger my survival, thus far and no more. I forgive readily and try to suppress any recall of hurts as I want to look ahead.

Thanks again for highlighting ways to lessen the guilt factor Stella as many needlessly carry a burden of guilt and do not know how to get rid of it - siva

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author avatar Surya Ragupathy
19th Jul 2015 (#)

Sir, Thank you very much for sharing this article. My perception is that it is very difficult to live a life without guilt and this very thing ensures that humanity still exists because when people don't feel guilty of their wrong actions then they are no longer humans.
Great work sir (Y)

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
20th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Surya for your take - that is another point of view to keep the guilt factor as a conscience keeper to show us the right path.

My take was one should not be too weighed down by guilt consciousness when we make our choices from time to time. As long as we do them to benefit others and not take a selfish point of view, we should be doing fine. Take such decisions, learn the lessons and keep looking ahead all the time. Such an attitude has helped me to find peace of mind - siva

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author avatar Carol Roach
20th Jul 2015 (#)

we are influenced by everything in our environment

I am far from the stage of bliss I am still in the stage of misery

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
20th Jul 2015 (#)

I am surprised Carol that with all your wisdom and experience you find yourself in a stage of misery.

Only physical discomforts can put me in a state of misery - siva

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author avatar pohtiongho
20th Jul 2015 (#)

Even if the law cannot touch them, because they are the laws, those evils are written on their face.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
20th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Poh Tiong Ho for your view.

Yes, the guilty avoid eye contact with their victims even as they look for more vulnerable to ensnare with their vile ways - siva

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author avatar Carol
20th Jul 2015 (#)

Very interesting Siva. I do make my own decisions, but am prepared to listen to others first. Then I hope I make the right choice

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
21st Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Carol. We all can move towards a life of bliss by listening to our inner voice and being aware of the needs of others - siva

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author avatar Vartika
21st Jul 2015 (#)

So well written Mr. Siva.
I am one of those who have carried a little bit of guilt..of being a working mother, of not being able to do all of what I want to do, for my family and myself. With age, I have realised that it is important to forgive oneself and move on. It has been a difficult journey but the good thing is that I have realised and I am sure I am more ready than ever to let go... of the negative feelings and the burden of guilt.
Thank you once again for the wise words. - vartika

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
21st Jul 2015 (#)

Thank you Vartika and so happy to see you here again!

I think you hit the nail on its head as to what I meant. Few thought being human means we have to have guilty feelings and only insensitive people will be otherwise.

It was clear that I was addressing sensitive, ordinary souls burdened by guilty feelings like the pious not able to visit places of worship regularly or others not able to fulfill family responsibilities as they aim for. But life is a trade off and as long as we are not selfish and benefit family and society we are doing well.

As for myself, I give more than take in every possible way and then forget about the results especially what others think of me. I just move on - siva

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author avatar Retired
22nd Jul 2015 (#)

As much as possible we must live a stress free life. Thanks for sharing this positive note

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
22nd Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Angelin, as long as we do our best and our lives benefit others, then we should be doing alright - siva

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author avatar Retired
22nd Jul 2015 (#)

I especially liked the part in your article about trying to find balance. It means something different for everyone but it is extremely important to get there.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
22nd Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Mary. I wrote this as many needlessly worry that their lives are lopsided and they are not rising to the occasion leading to a sense of guilt.

I have made many trade-offs in life to find balance that suit my composure and ability. I do not compare myself with another as their priorities are different - siva

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author avatar Kingwell
22nd Jul 2015 (#)

Thank you Siva for yet another great post. Many people do not like themselves and end up pretending to be something they are not just to please others. This to leads to an unhappy life. Blessings.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Kingwell - that is a very relevant reality applicable to majority.

The best way is to be upfront and just carry on but do our best for family and society - siva

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author avatar M G Singh
23rd Jul 2015 (#)

What is guilt? Frankly its a quality not defined . Did Hitler feel any guilt for what he did? Guilt varies from person to person and some have no guilt complex at all.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
23rd Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Madan, I am sure the majority knows what is guilt - acting against one's conscience. Of course, as I have commented above, some suppress this awareness we are born with - siva

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author avatar spirited
24th Jul 2015 (#)

I don't know about that siva, if I went onto auto-pilot, I am sure that I would feel guilty about that too....LOL...

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
24th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks Spirited, I was getting worried not seeing you for a while, but I thought you were reading a tome for in-depth review to share with us!

I was meaning by auto-plot - we will know how to live our lives avoiding the pitfalls and potholes along the way - siva

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author avatar Subra
26th Jul 2015 (#)

Dear Siva, the important thing to realise when we are guilt-ridden is to realise that we can forgive ourselves just as we might forgive someone else even though we think the other person was in the wrong. We can regret what we did, yet accept that we are human and make mistakes. Perhaps, we did our best, given our circumstances, awareness, maturity, and experience at the time.This is a healthy, humble attitude. In so doing we can achieve a blissful life. Being human, we must accept that we cannot achieve perfection and that circumstances will arise where we feel guilty for some of our thoughts, words and actions.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
26th Jul 2015 (#)

Thanks dear Subra for articulating succinctly what I set out to convey.

I have seen some needlessly living with guilty feelings despite doing what is possible within the limitations of daily challenges. I was trying to address them that as long as they do their best, just carry on looking ahead.

Never carry a grudge as we punish ourselves more than the person who hurt us. I forgive as a matter of course, but few replay at times and I think that is just being human! siva

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author avatar Helen Thomas
1st Aug 2015 (#)

WOW ~ I love this Siva. "When we take a closer scrutiny of what ails our world and our species, it becomes clear we are overlooking simple facets of life that cascade in effect and weaken the fabric of society. A guilt filled life is a burden not only to one who follows this lifestyle but leaves a pall of gloom around." YES

And this:

"A guilt-free life may pose a challenge but once we make up our minds it is on auto-pilot. When we consciously make the change in our outlook then the end result is a bliss-filled life that takes the right path for us to sit back and enjoy." YES again.

Thanks for sharing ~ Siva. Blessings

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
1st Aug 2015 (#)

Thanks Helen, when I even think negatively, my sensors alert me to get back to the path that means life. When we shed our ego and selfishness, we can look others in the eye and even God when the time comes!

Our leaders are human and play to the gallery oftentimes for their survival. But they should realize to win the war of peace than daily battles belittling others. Soon, those who came to mock will remain to pray when they connect with people.

Now cynicism has taken hold due to every leader playing them out, all prove equally bad or even worse! siva

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