He Says ... She Says ...

Linda Poitras By Linda Poitras, 11th Jul 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Philosophy>Personal Philosophy

You ever feel like when you talk about an issue, the more you talk the farther apart you get?

Here's a few things I'm noticing about our communication skills.

Grab yourself a cup of coffee and join me for my morning chronicle

Good Morning Everybody ...

Hope you guys all had a great weekend.

I spent a lot of time thinking about a lot of things.

Ok, here goes a question. You ever feel like when you talk about an issue, the more you talk the farther apart you get?

Here's a few things I'm noticing about our communication skills.

Women Vrs Men:

Women usually prefer talking about a problem before hearing a solution. For me anyway, often times, talking is the solution.

Men tend to think in terms of solutions. Understandable because fixing things is what they do and it makes them feel useful.Giving solutions is their way of showing that they can be relied on.

The men get baffled when they offer a solution and we aren't readily accepting.

"Like .. what? I don't understand why you talked about your problem if you didn't want a solution!"

The book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

was explaining the concept of "understanding precede advice". It says and I quote: “You have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize with the dilemma before you suggest a solution. Oftentimes your spouse isn’t asking you to come up with a solution at all—just to be a good listener.”

As my dad often says ... men want a yes or no answer. Women have to explain because of grey area.

I know it's not hopeless, my parents were married for over 35 years. My grand parents were married over 60 years. So obviously it's not hopeless.

Now if men are so technical ... here's to technical men!

Consider the word "but" at the end of a statement or intention. News flash men!!! ... we, women, see you statement as being cancelled out by your "but" word in mid sentence.

Let me give an example: I need to get in shape for the summer but ... I can't find the time? Cant afford it? ... the "but" means you are't going to get in shape.

So, use another word besides "but" like oh ... I don't know ... because or so ... or ... how about nothing at all.

"I love you" stop there. That's good. "I love you because ..." , "I love you so ..." is good. "I love you but ..." BAAAARRRRRRR!! Wrong thing to say.

The words you use make a difference. We all need to reflect on that in our day to day conversations.

Anyway, it's time for me to go for a bit.

Before you go ... grab yourself another cup of coffee and listen to a funny song about talking in a relationship.

Toby Keith - I Wanna Talk About Me

Hope it put a smile on your face if not a beat to your foot.

Be good to one another and don't take your freedom for granted because it's not a given for everyone to do so.

And you know the drill folks .... never leave home without it!

One ... two ... three ..... go!

Smile! .... You're on life's candid camera!


Communicate, Communication, Communication Problems, Communication Skill, Communication Skills, Communications, Talk, Talking, Women Versus Men

Meet the author

author avatar Linda Poitras
I was born and raised in Montreal, Quebec. In 2004 I married my American Mr. Man and 2 years later we moved to isla Margarita, Venezuela

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