Heal The Hurt, Get Past The Pain

Linda Poitras By Linda Poitras, 26th Jun 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Philosophy>Personal Philosophy

I was a victim of bullying. My chronicles are about awareness, tolerance, acceptance, growth, change. Possibly and hopefully ... help and understanding.

I'm thinking that a lot of people hurt and think no one understands. Here's my experience.

Good Morning Everybody ...


I have something to say this morning. It's important.

I write about what and how I feel, what I think, how I process and deal with things. I used to vent on paper by drawing and I think I drained that medium while my mom was fighting with cancer and lost the battle. I found writing to be quite helpful for me.

A little introduction ...

My life was never easy. I didn't have many friends growing up. I had a mom who was my world and the one stable thing in my life. My dad was a truck driver who did the best he could to provide for his family. My brother was the most precious thing and I was very protective of him. My sister came 12 years later and she was a gift.

As I was growing up ...

I became a victim of bullying. Back in those days it wasn't known, acknowledged or talked about as it is now and I didn't get the assistance then as young ones can or have the opportunity to get now.

I didn't get the police protection then.

A crumb of my history ...

I was beat within an inch of my life. I was threatened, pushed, tripped, gossiped about, isolated, and to make matters worse, they used my brother as a weapon against me.

Well, without going into too much details, I obviously survived that period of my life.

I few scars, some memory loss, and discovering that the hurt I thought I had dealt with ... wasn't dealt with, I found myself in a tight spot.

I'm in hurt overload

I don't want pity.

My chronicles are not about me getting pity or anything like that. First of all, I'd hate it. Second of all, my chronicles are about awareness, tolerance, acceptance, growth, change. Possibly and hopefully ... help and understanding.

I'm thinking that a lot of young people hurt these days and think no one understands. They're right. No one understands.

No matter how much hurt one feels in their life, they can never imagine the hurt others feel. Some hurt is visible. Some hurt is invisible to the eye. I think though, that knowledge and experience of things puts you in an advantage of a more sensitive empathy.

Life is not easy. People hurt you.

The more you care, the more you love, the more power people have to hurt you. Imperfection within us makes it pretty inevitable. Please! Don't you can't stop loving to avoid the pain though.

Me? I've hurt someone I love dearly. He did stupid things. I reacted stupid. He hurt me, I hurt him. He fought and I fought. He ignored me and I fought harder.Why? I don't know how to deal with it. I know how to deal with physical violence.

I don't know how to deal with hurt feelings. I had to fight to survive.

On instinct, I attacked to protect myself. I'm not fighting as a child or a teenager anymore. I fought as an adult tired of getting hurt.

Isn't that sad?

My Discovery ...

I was wrong. I didn't have to be defensive. I didn't have to get offensive.

As an adult, if I had a problem with the hurt, I could have dealt with it differently. I had choices. If I was so unhappy, I could have left or I could have talked about it, forgive and move past it. We all want someone to blame for our troubles. We hold on to so much anger without realizing it, that the wrong people end up paying for the sins of others, which is what is happening now where I'm concerned.

It's not really fair. It's not fair at all.

It's bad enough that I was wronged in the past. I feel that if I wrong the way I was wronged, I should be happy.

The opposite happened. I ended up feeling worse than those that wronged me for the fact that I know how it feels and shouldn't have made others feel the way I was made to feel. Understand?

What's the purpose of continuing the hurt by throwing it on someone else?

Listen he wasn't innocent, but ... even I know he didn't deserve to pay for the wrongs of others.

So ... my best strategy shouldn't be to prolong my hurt or expand on it.

My best strategy should be to get over it as quickly as possible.

Forgiveness ...

Whether or not anyone deserves my forgiveness isn't the point. The point is, I deserve to forgive, take back the control I lost, so that I can live.

My forgiveness may not make a difference to the one I give it to, if they're even aware of it, but for me, it does make a difference.

When it is me who is feeling the hurt, it is me who needs to start healing the hurt. That is, heal the hurt, get past the pain, with forgiveness.

Deep breath ... Ooook .... deep breath

Song of the day ...

Here's my song of the day.Let It Go -- Demi Lovato

If you are where I've been, let me know. If you know someone who is, let them know where to reach me. There's a way!

Well my friends, it's time for me to go. I wish you all a great day. Be good to one another and don't take your freedom for granted because it's not a given for everyone to do so.

You know the drill ...

Force it, fake it, paste one on ... do what you must ... but try

why?


Because you're on life's candid camera!

Tags

Bully, Bullying Victims, Hurt, Hurt Pain Depression Agony Horrible Feelings Nothi, Hurt The One You Love, Hurtful Feelings, Hurting, Survive, Surviving, Survivor

Meet the author

author avatar Linda Poitras
I was born and raised in Montreal, Quebec. In 2004 I married my American Mr. Man and 2 years later we moved to isla Margarita, Venezuela

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Comments

author avatar Lady Aiyanna
27th Jun 2016 (#)

Healing hurt begins with yourself. You can have woe its me syndrome or hell no its not happening again. Well bullies are just tormented bullied in their own place of life wherein bullying others just becomes a vent to show strength. Now how do you touch that soft spot of the bully to bring out the mellow and tackle them. Well, you are the victim, you find the solution. Its not about acting strong its about learning pain has vents and suicides and destructive habits are not part of it, they are abusers of strength.

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