How To Master The Art Of Conversation

DR YOMI GARNETT By DR YOMI GARNETT, 25th Oct 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Personal Development>Social Abilities

The ability to initiate and sustain an interesting conversation can sometimes mean the difference between success and failure in life. Learn how to compel people to gravitate towards you, simply by being an engaging conversationalist.

The Art Of Conversation Is A Fine Skill Indeed

One of the finest skills you could possibly cultivate is the art of conversation, and since the fundamental vehicle of communication between human beings is conversation, when you become proficient at initiating and sustaining a conversation, you have mastered an invaluable skill indeed. If people avoid you like the plague at a social function, the likely implication is that you are considered dull company, if not a total bore. On the other hand, if people gravitate towards someone else, hanging on his every word with near-reverence, that person is most probably a consummate master of the art of conversation.
There are five proven strategies by which you can become a skilled and brilliant conversationalist.

You Must Be A Great Listener

People love good listeners. “Let the other fellow talk,” is a great statement, and a useful strategy is to adopt it as a personal motto. Turn your listening into an active process by remaining mentally alert. Hearing the other person out, and disciplining yourself not to interject or respond until he has finished speaking is not only a silent affirmation of respect for him, but an equally useful means of helping him to sustain his train of thought. Motivate him to tell you more by saying things like: “That is a remarkable story,” or “What an excellent idea!” Try to imagine that everyone you meet has a sign around his neck that proclaims: "Help me by making me feel important!" Absolutely refuse to embark upon an endless babble about yourself. Instead, focus exclusively on what the other person is saying, and keep the conversation flowing by asking questions like: "What happened next?" or, "How did you react to that?"

Graciously Offer A Sincere Compliment

This is an eloquent demonstration of agreeability and sincere interest in another person. You cannot offer a sincere compliment without noticing something admirable about the other person. “You look smart,” or “ That suit sits well on you. Is it bespoke?” are both statements that, not only demonstrate your genuine interest in others, but open up fresh lines of conversation. You could also graciously congratulate your hosts on how well the event has turned out, making specific reference to a particular feature, for instance, the hall décor.

Address People By Their Names

For most people, the most welcome sound is that of their own name. At your introduction to someone, make a conscious effort to learn the person’s name, and use it at the earliest opportunity. For example, you could say, “ Robert, for how long have you been living in this city?" When you use the name immediately, three things happen: Your future recall is firmly established, your genuine interest in the person is crystal clear, and you subtly compliment the person. Many people have been known to develop an instant camaraderie with supposedly new acquaintances, using such instant amity as leverage for the progressive realization of set goals.

Inject Some Humor Into The Discussion

Wittiness tends to be both spontaneous and clever, making it a fairly difficult skill to cultivate. However, you can observe those for whom it seems to come naturally, and drop in your own anecdotes, watching carefully to see if you hit the right note with your audience. Invest some time in reading a good book of jokes, and build up a collection of funny stories which you can insinuate into conversations right on cue. You must, however, take particular care to avoid offending the sensibilities of others, especially in mixed company, avoiding the lewd and obscene to resolutely staying within the confines of the refined.

Become A Well-Informed Person

Insist on being a knowledgeable person, especially on issues of general interest and politics. The purpose is for you to be able to inject questions, comments and opinions on issues that interest others. It is, however, of vital importance that you steer clear of sensitive and controversial subjects, like religion and contentious politics, while remaining genial and amiable.
Insist on speaking in a clear, articulate and easily comprehensible manner, keeping your sentences short and succinct. Should a pause occur, creatively draw someone in with an engaging question.
Finally, make a robust attempt to be an interesting part of the party. Remain your natural self, while exuding an aura of positivity and easy confidence that throws you up as a happy and amiable fellow, rather than a grumpy and miserable person.


Anecdotes, Art Of Conversation, Compliment, Conversation, Good Listener, Humor, Joke, Listening

Meet the author

author avatar DR YOMI GARNETT
I am a physician turned creative writer. I have authored three books; one on stress, and the other two in the genre of the motivational. I am also a ghostwriter, biographer and article writer.

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