How to change the bad habits of those closest to you.

winifred By winifred, 11th Jan 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Personal Development>Social Abilities

"I wish my husband could be a better lover", "I hate how she gets when she is angry, I cant stand her." These are the words and thought of many folks.we all want people around us to be better, we want them to change their bad habits but sometimes it never works;then wee keep going back to where it all started from. Things get so bad in so many families and relationships because of attitudes that we wish we could change. These are some few tips to make your relationships blossom.

How to change the bad habits of does closest to you


" I wish he could be less bossy",
"he is just too quick-tempered and i cant stand it"
" I wish she could stop talking too much ", "she is just to proud"
These are the words and thought of so many folks all around the world. The Question is "Can you really change people?" Well what do you think? or what do I think?
People can be changed if you want the to be changed but that depends on why you want them to change. This is what will tell if they would change or they would just keep pissing you off..
Then we need to give a thought to this..
Why do you want your spouse, your sibling, friend or whoever to change?
The first step is to make sure your reason is not selfish, e.g Do you want them to change so they can hang out with you more or pay the bills more when you go out with them?. Or is it because its just plainly not good for the person's health or a particular habit gets him/her into trouble? Whatever it is, Think about it and make sure it is not selfish.
Now the second step is; don't try to change them, you would probably be thinking right now."did you hear me right?" Yes, you did!
Don't try to beg or yell ." I don't like this habit, you have to stop drinking and smoking!" Do not try sit down and start talking about why he/she needs to pick up healthy eating habits or why and how they don't express their love and how other men do. People do this every the day. The person probably wants to be a better person but he/she keeps going back to the same mistakes and it just doesn't work. So what do you do?
Third step; you have to see from their own point of view, understand that nobody can ever be like you, that is why we have diverse faces in the world and imagine if everyone was like you? The world will sure be a boring place to live in. You have to find something deeper to make you love them. understand their limitations for not being able to change that habit, and make them see that you understand. This way, you are able to stand whatever thing they do that gets you pissed off.
The trick is when you do this three things especially loving people for the potential you see they can become; you begin to trust them with responsibilities and the person on the other hand is surprised at your gestures. He/she sees that you are accepting and believing in them. Now they don't want to disappoint you because many of our loved ones are looking for people to believe in them and trust them, even when they have not earned it. When you begin to see the potential that you know they can be; you begin to trust them towards that potential. You would be surprised on how they would blow your mind.
They will finally see the main reason why you want them to stop that particular habit and they would also be able to open up to you about their biggest fears and challenges. Now they trust you. you will now trust them to make that change that is best for their lives.
Or You might just discover they never needed the change.
Its all about love. Try it.

Tags

Changes, Changing Habits, Lifestyle

Meet the author

author avatar winifred
I am a university student, who loves writing. I focus on Motivational writing,short stories, life coaching.

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
4th Feb 2014 (#)

Good share, Winifred. We should set an example too in the way we behave - children are advised to behave well, but do they see it practiced? However gentle prodding should do the trick over time - siva

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