Liars

kaylarStarred Page By kaylar, 4th Dec 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Culture>General

A basic primer in how to expose a lie without exposing yourself

All Men Are Liars

Nahhhh.

Some people tell the truth. Some people are almost pathologicall truth tellers. Many tell the truth as they know it.

Often someone passes on untrue information, it sounds correct and is honestly repeated. This is not exactly a lie if the person who offers it has relied on the statement of another.

A few cautious souls differentiate what they know from what they were told; for example; "I physically was present when...."
as opposed to
"I was informed that...."

But many people can lie as easily as a pathological liar.

Pathological Liars

I couldn't find my camouflage bandana so called the thief next door.
I asked;

"Did you see it?"

With the most honest look I'd ever seen he replied; "No."

"It's on your head."

This man is a pathological liar. I rely on as an example. He will lie about anything, and the lie becomes so 'true' to him he actually believes it.

As in False Memory Syndrome reality is overwritten by the fantasy, the link in his brain between what is true and what is invention doesn't exist.

He has a daughter exactly like him. She invents, she lies, and she believes her lies, taling with such certainty that if you didn't have her two year old emails, you'd believe her.

Most people do not have this kind of genetic propensity to lie. Most people lie for a reason. Here is how to catch them.

The First Test

Lawyers know not to ask a question they don't know the answer to.
This is your method.

You know the answer to this question. The witness doesn't know you know, because you ask in a totally bland way. You act as if you are hearing this for the very first time.

If it is one of those responses which naturally provoke a; 'and then...?' you follow up, ask the obvious next question.

If it is one of those definite answers, you have nothing further to ask.
You know they are lying.

The Response

Never let a liar know you know they are lying.
Let them 'get away' with it.

In Court you usually want to get all the lies before the denouement. To make a liar know you caught them on first lie will cause them to become even more devious.

For example, I know all the gory details about Jane's disconnection from her brother.
I say to Jane, "How's Jack?"

"He's okay."

"Has he moved yet?"

"I haven't spoken to him recently."

Did I ask another question?
Nope.

Jane's a liar.
Jane is trying to mislead me.
She doesn't want me to know that Jack slammed the phone down on her refuses to take her calls.
But I know this.
Jane doesn't know I know this.

I have the upper hand.

Knowing Jane is a liar I verify everything that flops out of her mouth.
I won't verify in her face, I'll do it when she's not there.

And when I feel it's time to 'drop the bomb', I'll tell whomever I'm using as my verification what Jane said, and we'll discuss it, and hopefully, it will get back to Jane.

Hence when you catch the liar the first time, make that mental tick, but don't betray your knowledge.

Your move

Once you've gotten a few tidbits as in above with Jane, you verify everything.

If your husband lies to you about X, don't blurt that you know it is a lie. In this way he will not become better at his lies. He will think his Level One lies are good enough for you.

As you collect his lies you contact your lawyer. You do whatever you need to, without telling him, so that when you 'drop the bomb' he'll be totally unprepared.

In Business/In Life

Subject everyone to your 'First Test.'
Those who 'pass' go into the 'intermediate' category.
Those who fail are marked as liars.

Those in the 'intermediate' category are not out of the woods.

Your First Test may have contained a question that meant nothing to them, or they answered honestly for some other reason.

Move on to the Second Test.

Second Test

This is the 'mislead.'
It has to be well planned.
You have to make someone believe one thing, then you do another. But the misleading has to be of such a nature that it isn't exactly a direct lie on your part.

"At this moment I have no intention of going to that function."

It can't be the "Absolutely Not!" which makes you a liar, it has to be the kind of ify thing, so that when you do what you said you wouldn't there can be a perfectly reasonable answer.

"I had no intention of going, then Sammy came and dragged me here..."

Why you do this is to check what information others received.

For example, suppose she didn't mention you weren't coming. That means she's honest. Suppose she told others the truth;

"I spoke to her today and she said..."quote"...".
Again, she's honest.

But if people jump up in your saying;

"I didn't expect you, I was told that...(lie, lie, lie)" then you know this person can't be trusted.

Those who pass this test are usually honest.

Tags

Catch, Deception, Expose, Lie, Lying, Pathologica Liar

Meet the author

author avatar kaylar
I am passionate about history, culture, current events, science and law

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Comments

author avatar Retired
5th Dec 2011 (#)

There are two types of lies, black lies and white lies. The black lies are the ones which are told with malice and intent to hurt someone and the other is told to protect and keep the integrity of the person or the peace in the place intact.
I would classify the black lie as the dangerous one and the white lie as the one used to take care of a situation with minimal damages.
Unfortunately 99.9% of us are habitual liars and those who tell the truth get caught in the quicksand and it takes a lot of effort to pull out of it.
But that is with the adult life. In a child, they learn how to lie from the people who are taking care of them so, if you want to train them to tell the truth do it yourself.

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author avatar kaylar
5th Dec 2011 (#)

When you need to know who to trust, who is telling the truth, you have to be sure...and even those 'little' lies count.

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author avatar M G Singh
5th Dec 2011 (#)

Good post

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author avatar Tranquilpen
5th Dec 2011 (#)

Is it necessary to have to do this with everyone all of the time?

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author avatar kaylar
5th Dec 2011 (#)

In most cases you don't really want to be lied to. So it's pretty easy to ask someone something although you already know the answer to see how they respond.

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
5th Dec 2011 (#)

The ones that tell you how honest they are are the ones who lie the most for sure.

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author avatar kaylar
6th Dec 2011 (#)

oh yeah. You can only prove it when it might be too expensive. So it is better to know who you send to the bank with that horse choking wad, and who you don't.

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author avatar Zach3000
7th Dec 2011 (#)

An old saying says that "Lies have no legs to stand upon" therefore they only have each other to prop themselves up on. The lies will eventually be exposed.

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author avatar kaylar
7th Dec 2011 (#)

I agree, the point is to speed up the time so that you don't put yourself into difficulty

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