Life in a Kakistocracy

kaylarStarred Page By kaylar, 10th Aug 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Culture>General

How to survive when you live under the higest level of corruption


Kakistocracy is a government by the very worst people. Coming from the Greek word; Kaka (which is what you deposit in a toilet) it very correctly describes the system.

A Kakistocracy is quite a few levels below a Kleptocracy, where the government steals everything.

In a Kakistocracy everything that can be stolen/exploited/perverted IS.

It is not that the government is corrupt, it is that corruption is the form of governance.

As an analogy it like saying the Water Commission supplies water.

The system practiced in Jamaica is not corrupt, Corruption is the system.

Daily Life

Anything that can be exploited will be. Any method to wring money out of a pocket will be tried. It isn't just the hand out, it isn't just that to get something done requires a donation, it is that nothing is done without the donation.

Everything depends on who you are, who you know, how much money you have, if you have use, if you have secrets, if you can 'help' someone in life.

The word 'merit' is unknown.


If you have money, you are encouraged to send your children to Private Schools because the government schools are substandard.
Yes. Of course they are.
They are run by government meaning that the worst people are in charge, the least resources are available, and the education is catch as catch can.

However, Private Schools are simply money making enterprises. They aren't there to teach, they are there to make money. Private schools run various rackets. The most lucrative is telling that their children have various learning disabilities. .

Devastated, the parents are given referrals to particular 'experts'. These 'experts' charge an arm a leg and your favourite kidney.

The Private School gets a kick back from the 'expert'.

To give an example, a particular mother was told her son had various communication problems. I spoke to the son, he didn't.

I told the mother to inform the school she would have to remove her son because she couldn't afford to pay the school fees and the expert. The school decided the child did not have a problem.

She removed her son any way.

If she had listened to the school, she'd have to take a mortgage on her house to send her child for 'therapy' he didn't need.


I learned a particular cushy post (for which I was qualified) was going to become available because the person filling it would be offered an Ambassadorship.

How I knew this proved that I was not part of the 'Lumpen'.

However, before applying I checked with 'Someone'. She told me she'd call me back. She did. She told me, "The Post is going to Janet."

Now this is a post that didn't yet exist. No one knew it would be vacant in six months. However, I didn't bother to apply in three months when the position was advertised.

Every dog and cat sent in their C.V.s. Every dog and cat were given dates to attend for their Interviews. Twelve were short listed and returned for their Second Interview.

At the end of the process, Janet got the position.

Janet got the position because she was 'dere' with someone who had the power and it is cheaper to have the tax payers support a super annuated lover.

(In) Justice

Who you are, or assumed to be, has a great bearing on Justice. If you are poor, if you support the wrong politcal party, you can be killed at random.

The Police will concoct some story, and walk away without even a wrist slap.

If you are 'somebody' then everything will be done to facilitate your escape. Either you won't be charged, if charged automatically given bail, and acquitted ....unless you have offended someone more powerful than you are.

Average Citizens have no rights; they are only important on election day to put some Kaka into power.


Once Jamaica had socialised medicine. Things worked. Then things changed. Nurses became 'all powerful'.

Jamaican nurses may be fine in an American hospital with careful supervision and stringent laws, but in Jamaica they are as near to matrons of a concentration camp as you wish to get.

As bad as the 'nursing' staff is, they aren't a pin on the ancilliary staff which rarely sterilises anything.

The criminal who can't go to a hospital with his bullet wound stands a far better chance of recovery if treated by the local First Aider than the innocent bystander who is taken to Kingston Public Hospital.

Going abroad to have a broken leg set insures you will have a leg. Going to a hospital in Jamaica means you may wind up an amputee.

So Where's the Money?

Most revenue goes into various pockets. Over paying people is standard. The Prime Minister gets more than the President of the United States. And C.E.O.s of Government Agencies get twice that, plus every kind of perq available.

Living well from an 'Entertainment Allowance' while converting one's salary to US mega bucks and banking in the Cayman Islands is how it is done.

Giving jobs to old girl (boyfriends) especially when you want to replace them with younger models, giving jobs to political supporters and those who know your dirty secrets is why things are run so badly.

Most 'consultants' don't know what they are being consulted about, and considering they get an office, a secretary a messenger, a clerk, a free car, free health care, free travel, they can toss their salary cheque into their bank account so that after a few years, when the government changes or they get a tip that they are under investigation, they can migrate and live well.

This is where the money goes. This is why there is no money for government schools, for justice or health care.

How to Survive

Always know that it is cheaper to kill you than to let you talk. Hence try not to have anything to talk about. Write it down if you think you will forget; "When You Swim in a Cess Pool, You Keep Your Mouth Shut."

You need to climb the power ladder to get out of the easy to kill category but remember, "The higher the monkey climbs the more he is exposed.".

What you need to do is make the climb, and then, when others try to 'fight you out' don't put up much of a struggle.

Imagine being in the centre of that Cess Pool, and people pushing you to the side. Let them, you can use the help. They'll push you to the side, (and chat about it) and when you are right by the edge, climb out.

Remember, you can't leave, but, you can be 'forced out.' Accept your unofficial expulsion with mock stupidity. That is, act as if you don't realise you've been pushed out of the centre. Go on as always; support the Party you always did, act as you still have the prestige. Defer to those who shoved you out of the cess pool.

When you find yourself in a coven where secrets are about to be revealed, go outside for a cigarette, even if you don't smoke. Miss those occasions in which you might see something that will make your continued existence problematic.

Never try to blow a whistle. This leaves to an extraction of air. Do what you can beneath the radar, and don't ever mention the fact that you live in a Kakistocracy.


Bribe, Corruption, Employment, Governance, Government, Politics, School, Sex

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author avatar kaylar
I am passionate about history, culture, current events, science and law

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
10th Aug 2013 (#)

Wow! I'm speechless.

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
11th Aug 2013 (#)

me too kaylar...

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author avatar kaylar
10th Aug 2013 (#)

It isn't that you bribe someone to do something; if you don't bribe them they won't do their jobs.

It is remrkably corrupt and we are used to it...

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
11th Aug 2013 (#)

Ever hear a song by Jarvis Cocker, called "Running the World?"

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author avatar kaylar
11th Aug 2013 (#)

No, how does it go?

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author avatar M G Singh
11th Aug 2013 (#)

Excellent post. Could apply to most of the world.

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author avatar kaylar
11th Aug 2013 (#)

Not know there are places where you don't have to brib anyone or know anyone to get whatever it is you are to get. ... in Jamaica, it is want a passport? it is x. You want it in 2 weeks? It is 2x. You want it in 2 days? It is 3x. This is official. There is a sign there.

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author avatar Mike Robbers
11th Aug 2013 (#)

Amazing post, kaylar! Kakistocracy is such a great and fitting word!

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author avatar kaylar
11th Aug 2013 (#)

Thank you...

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author avatar Mariah
11th Aug 2013 (#)

Impressive write kaylar

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author avatar kaylar
11th Aug 2013 (#)

thank you

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