Love and fear can walk together without fear being fearful of love

spiritedStarred Page By spirited, 8th Dec 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Personal Development>Spiritual Development

Are love and fear polar opposites? Can they actually co-exist?

"Perfect love casts out fear," says the Christian bible, but until our love becomes perfect, we should not try to kill off our fear, but on the contrary, allow it to be our friend.

When we love this other part of love, which we fear now, we will find paradoxically then, that only then, has our love now, become perfect!

Fear, like all other things, has its underlying purpose, and it is usually there for a reason.

Can we really live our lives without any fear?

Some people obviously think that we can do so.

I came across a book just recently which is entitled, “Living without fear”.

It was written by Noel McGrath. Noel is an Australian born writer, who was born only a stone throw away from where I live, and was born myself too. He was also born in one of the suburbs of the greater city of Melbourne.

After writing his first book called, “Ultimate Success” in 1988, Noel never looked back again after that. The book referred to above was his eleventh book at that time.

Noel reckons that all other destructive emotions, such as anger, resentment, and even self-denigration states, involving low self-esteem and depression are derived from, or built on top of, some underlying fear.

On the other hand, even healthier emotional states, like being motivated, feeling happy, even our feeling of well-being, or our degree of good health, or bad health, can all be undermined at their roots, by fear too.

When we love through our ego's, instead of through our hearts, other emotions are then created by the ego. Our ego fears that itself will become lost within love, and so it does all it can to stay around, even if this means it stirs you up into creating and living from some negative emotions, rather than from just your heart of love.

Is fear ever really ever necessary at all then?

Can we live totally without fear and only from love, or must we also flitter through these lower forms of love's energy sometimes too?

It's all love, but when love is not at its full strength, it siphons down these negative pathways, or along these other smaller tributaries of itself then instead sometimes.

Love is totally an energy of positiveness in its way when lived from totally.

Negative emotions stem from a lesser level of love being present in you, but they are not destructive generally unless you follow them from your own ego or mind, and so allow them to dominate and distract you from going the way of love.

Other ways are just other ways, and can be either good or bad, in their degrees, but the best way of course always remains love's way.

Love's way can only be walked with fear not being blocked, or from your not trying to get rid of it, (When you waste energy trying to block fear, or in trying to get rid of it, you also take away, or divert, some of your energy needed to love) but when fear is being totally accepted for what it is within love, which is achieved by your not isolating it out, and letting it have a separate life on its own, you are living totally from love then.

The author of this book says that we must first own up to these negative energies, firstly acknowledging them as being present within us, but then seeing them as really being unreal, unable to stand alone on their own.

This should lead us then to realising that really all that they ever do is to dilute the presence of love, or hide the obvious presence of love, which is always there, right behind these negative energies own smokescreens.

Remember that if you have any of these negative emotions within you, especially that of anger, it really means indirectly that you have a fear of love.

All of these negative emotions come from you fearing living from love, in some way.

"To him who is in fear everything rustles."

The great Greek poet, Sophocles (496 BC to 406 BC) said this.

It seems like he lived a very long life for that time, way back then. Perhaps it was because he had mastered his fears. When you live from love, nothing that rustles causes you any alarms. Rustling, you know then, is just another way that love, loves.

What happens when love meets fear?

When love meets fear” is the name of yet another good book that I was reading at the same time as I was reading Noel's one above.

This book is written by the author, David Richo. David Richo, is an American psychotherapist, teacher, workshop leader, and writer.

We were made for love, by love, to love,” he says. We need no reason to love, and if we did have such a reason, we would not be loving then unconditionally.

Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it,” he says.

Reality is love. There is only love. We should accept love without trying to use it or to outsmart it in any way too.

This author also claims that our ego is the big culprit here too.

It is afraid of itself not being there. It is fearful of emptiness, or of the void.

Fear prevents us from finding ego's sister, “egolessness”.

“Egolessness” lives from fearlessness, because the truth is that nothing can ever happen to us that does not belong to us, or is meant to be happening to us, or for us, he claims here in his book.

Here is a nice little poem from this author.

we know not what,
is always and everywhere lovingly at work,
we know not how,
so we can release the abundant potentials
of love, wisdom, and healing
that are in us all
and for which the world is waiting:
One Sacred Heart, never apart.

David poetically writes, without really ever saying, what this something is though.

Maybe this is because of his Buddhist background, but most of us, me included, would probably label this mysterious something, God, and what is at work constantly, is his energy of love.

Poetry: Does fear ever really come to stay around forever?

My fear had approached God's love, on its very first morning.
I hadn't realised his love was still there, this was not yet dawning.
My fear then surmised that it now it had it all, all in its own way.
My fear today became tomorrow's fear too, as my fear had its day.

Fear, given into, stays around almost forever, as you feed it.
The way to rid yourself of fear is to fully permit love to fully love.
Reach up above past all of your fear, and clutch again onto love.
Let your fear disappear into what's now, an un-catching glove.

Remember love still contains fear, but it also contains courage.
Dualities are contained all also all within love, not to disparage.
It is us that pull love apart to try, to hold onto a of it part within us,
but then we find, fear takes on some new life, within our own life.

My fear came to stay, it seemed to be not playing in its ruse.
Displaying all of its nasty symptoms, I thought it was real, not induced.
Unconditional love doesn't conceal fear, courage is not its absence.
We must grow past our fear to find it had its use, to love's roots.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

So said the ancient Chinese sage, and poet, Lao Tzu ( he lived in either the 5th or 6th century BC).

Photo Credits:

All photos used in the compilation of this article have been taken by me, its author, and as such belong to me, except for the one in this last section, which comes from the free media site, Wikimedia Commons.


Become Lost Within Love, Destructive Emotions, Ego, Energy Of Positiveness, Fear, Living Without Fear, Love, Love And Fear, Love Still Contains Fear, Negative Energies, Presence Of Love, Underlying Fear

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author avatar spirited
I have been interested in the spiritual fields for over thirty five years now. My writing is mostly in this area.

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author avatar Retired
8th Dec 2015 (#)

My old philosophy professor would say that this is all too vague and wooly and you need to define your concepts more fully!

What do you mean by love? Love of what? What do you mean by fear? Fear of what?

You could reduce this notion to a trivial level by defining fear as "worry" and then saying "I'd love to go to town today but I'm worried that it might rain".

I think you might also make your points more forcefully if you gave some examples of what you mean by such things as "an energy of positivemenss" or "outsmarting" love.

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author avatar spirited
8th Dec 2015 (#)

Thanks for commenting here John.

I am not writing philosophically, but spiritually sharing some views as shared by these writers and also believed by myself.

We can only write what we think is true ourselves, I guess.

I would have thought that an energy of positiveness merely means that when you feel positive this seems to give you a boost of such an energy of extra enthusiasm too, and when you feel negative it can depress you, so you fell depleted of such an energy of enthusiasm.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
8th Dec 2015 (#)

I overcome my fears by acknowledging them as part of life but they are just a passing phase that cannot really harm me. If they prove a precursor to something bad then I have to accept the reality; however, I will be provided with the wherewithal to face them.

There are many good souls waiting to step in to fill the void created by those who jumped ship when I found myself in hot waters. We are never really left bereft as creation never abandons us; are we not part of it?

Thought provoking share Spirited - we should allow love to triumph by never losing hope in the goodness of humanity.

The Bard has been a great inspiration too:
“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.”

I am indeed in good company! siva

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author avatar spirited
8th Dec 2015 (#)

Thanks siva

Such fear is often the key into the void of emptiness, sometimes a fear opens us up in a way that nothing else could to love more.

Fear exists because you exist.

Anything that thinks it is separate will harbour some type of fear about this thought.

Thoughts bring fears when the thought is allowed to stand on its own, but when enthused with love, all thoughts must return again to their source, i.e. to that love, instead of staying around, hooked onto a cloud of fear, which when held in place above or around you, only dampens your spirit, and hides you away from the sun, or from the warmth of God’s love, in other words.

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author avatar Retired
8th Dec 2015 (#)

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

Fear is ego based, so that saying becomes clearer if 'ego' is substituted for 'money'. When Love comes fully into your life, fear flees. They cannot coexist.

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author avatar spirited
8th Dec 2015 (#)

thanks Christopher,

Your astute observations are always welcome here.

Is fear entirely always ego-based, or not though?

The ego can serve you faithfully, but when it only serves itself, this very separation creates fears within it that becomes thoughts that further separate you from truth. When your ego serves you by simply being a part of you, as is your personality, and mind, and consciousness, which are all attachments to your soul, all will be well then, I think.

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author avatar spirited
8th Dec 2015 (#)

We need not destroy the ego, only the boundary of fearful thoughts it is holding to itself and has created to separate you from your real self.

Noel McGrath thinks that the ego is merely a thinking process, a thought system which is a part of our mind. Our ego’s thoughts can oppose love’s guidance, and when love is blocked like this, the separation from love creates fears, simply because we are receiving less love, and a part of us knows this, but the ego also feels this unconsciously too, and fears arise despite our efforts to rid ourselves of them when our ego controls our thoughts.

We cannot serve God and our ego, or follow love’s way for us first, if we follow our ego’s way first.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
8th Dec 2015 (#)

I will get a hold of those two books, still your posts are one of a kind!

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author avatar spirited
8th Dec 2015 (#)

Thanks Fern, both books are very interesting to read.

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author avatar Carol Roach
8th Dec 2015 (#)

as a colleague of his so to speak, I don't completely agree, fear is necessary, we were given that emotion for a reason, and even if you use God as your creator we were created by God who gave us the emotion called fear. In caveman days fear was necessary, for example the fear of wild animals, today fear is still very useful, the fear to cross a very busy intersection, the fear of a house fire and so on. What we do is that we channel that fear, and find solutions around it. For example, we are careful in our homes not to start a fire.

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author avatar spirited
9th Dec 2015 (#)

thanks Carol,

and it's not only us humans that show this emotion, animals also show fear.

I think when they make these blanket types of statements about fear, like that there are only two types of emotions, love and fear, but only love is real, they are perhaps talking about only mental types of fear, thought fears, fears that prevent us from operating ourselves fully, not physical fears.

“You have but two emotions, love and fear, but only love is real?”

Is this right though, or is it more just a nice sounding statement from the Course in Miracles?

Of course the truth probably is that fear is just as real as which love is.

Fear is a part of love’s energy being used in this focussed way for a specific purpose. When the purpose of fear is lost because you fear the fear, and so fear escalates then unendingly into a spiral of itself, the connection to love is often then misplaced, because you are so caught up in the fear, and so then you often feel nothing else then except for the fear which is overwhelming for you. Perhaps this can become a problem for us sometimes then, which perhaps only a return to love can solve for us.

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author avatar Helen Thomas
9th Dec 2015 (#)

Thanks ~ Spirited for sharing this interesting and thought provoking post.
I like that you quoted a part of 1 John 4:18 that says:
Perfect love casts out fear.

I trust you do not mind my
adding a bit of context from earlier verses here 'that may possibly' enhance the cohesiveness of your article:

If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.

13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world.

15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

Thanks again. Blessings to you.

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author avatar spirited
9th Dec 2015 (#)

Thanks Helen,

I guess we can become perfect in love then, and the bible also says somewhere in Matthew 5:48.

"You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Maybe we fear this perfection in some way, because of a lack of faith in our doubting that we can be that perfect.

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author avatar Kingwell
10th Dec 2015 (#)

Another interesting read spirited. It is said that we are born with just two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises yet we learn many others as we journey through life. Most people fear the unknown, hence our fear of death. Is love greater than fear? I think that it is if we have a perfect understanding of love. We are told in the Bible that God is love but do we really comprehend what that means? What is the perfect love that casts out fear? Perhaps the answer lies in the saying the only true love ys unconditional love. Blessings.

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author avatar spirited
10th Dec 2015 (#)

Thanks Kingwell,

I guess if we can't yet live from this perfect love, we will still have some of these learned fears then as well, until we learn to unlearn them perhaps LOL.

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author avatar SaigonDeManila
12th Dec 2015 (#)

Glad to keep seeng scholarly artcle like these. Thank you for this great post Spirited!

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author avatar spirited
12th Dec 2015 (#)

thanks for your interest in my article SaigonDeManila

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