Message Boards and Forums which deal with Women's Issues

kaylarStarred Page By kaylar, 27th Aug 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Culture>General

Tracking the history and focus of Women's sites in Cyberspace

The Start

As a descendent of IRC Chat, Message Boards and Fora became the first 'human side' of the Internet. One didn't just view, one participated in discussions.

Among the earliest Topics to be spotlighted, (along with Star Trek and Hacking) were “Women’s Issues.”

Being involved in Women’s Issues most of my life I joined everyone I could find.

The differences between communication in Real Life contra that in Cyberspace, mentioned in a previous article, is that one’s identity is revealed in Real Life.

Being a guest speaker at a conference on Domestic Violence or Adultery, or participating in the drafting of laws, provides an instant credence writing online does not.

No one knows who you are and your words stand equal to those of any other poster.

The odd thing I found in Cyberspace was that the advice I would give in Real Life which was found to be the best in all circumstances, was attacked in cyberspace.

Attacked not by the woman who has asked for help but by other members of the Message Board. Other women.

History Repeats

Whether in New York or New South Wales, women confront the same issues. Over and again, women ask for help. Over and over again other women on the site, women who claim to be there for support or help, push forward what can only be labeled the 'husband's agenda'.

And in this pushing forward of the 'husband's agenda' they attack those who defend the wife's integrity.

The Newbie logs on and posts that her husband is pressuring her for a particular sexual act, or was being verbally abusive, or hit her, or she suspected him of adultery, etc.

The Newbie wants another woman to confirm what she believes. Another woman to take 'her side.'

The Pattern Never Changed

"Need Help", has posted enough evidence of a kind of abuse many women have come to accept.

It can be anything, from a demand she cease to attend church, to engaging in a form of sexuality she might find perverted; any thing in which the wife's will is eroded, in which she is forced to accept something that she reviles.

Anyone who has been involved in domestic violence issues knows the reason this
post was made to the Message Board is because the wife wants to be told to 'disobey' her husband, she wants support.

She doesn't get support. She does not receive indifferent advice. The members of the Women's Message Board are the tragic abused women who have internalised their abuse. These women on that site are not there to help other women out of their difficulties but to cement them into the abusive situation.

Over time it becomes evident that the poster who so vehemently defends oral sex and exhorts the Newbie to try it, is a woman whose first encounters were forced and who has learned to obey her Master, told herself she likes it, now wants to subject other women to the degradation she knows.

Those who see this, who can read between the words, who offer advice contrary to that of the herd are attacked.

Never Changes

I ceased to join Women's Message Boards. There were no feminists, there were no positive achievers just a sorry batch of abused women who advocated the '50s' style of 'wives obey your husband'.

It is, of course, not done in such clear language.

Like a dog who returnth to his vomit, I joined another Womens Message Board in July.

Alas, nothing has changed since 1988 when I posted on BBS, in 1998 when I posted on the Internet, and 2008 when I walked away from every MB or Forum which had anything to do with women.

The same pattern. The same misery demands company.

I closed the account.

Focusing on the Issue

What is the problem with Women’s Sites?

Firstly, the inability of women to recognise that certain situations are not unique, that they follow specific patterns and that each level of abuse is a softening for the next level.

Secondly, the refusal to recognise their own problems and the hostility shown when facts are revealed.

Domestic Violence, is not simply a punch in the mouth. It takes many forms. The key feature is when a woman’s will is overborn and she is forced to do something she does not desire, and then, to protect her ego claims to ‘like’ it or ‘chose’ it


What happens in a bedroom is between the persons in the bedroom. When a woman feels so distressed about a demand she posts it, one knows that it is not a by the way entry and she is looking for help.

To recognise this, is, of course, going to upset the army of those who have acquiesced in the demands and now pretend they ‘like’ it.

One doesn’t do this in real life.

People don’t sit on a bus and discuss whether or not they should have anal sex, and receive a response from a stranger claiming how nice it is. Yet, it is done on these sites. Women revealing their sex lives for hundreds, maybe thousands of eyes.

The deindivualisation of the Internet grants them a sense of protection. They are abused women trying so hard to appear 'in control' refuting reality, angry when someone outside of their private hell indicates an awareness of it.

The woman who makes the first post wants help. Those who respond want to shove her deeper into her dungeon, pretending they are oblivious to fact that if this didn't bother her so greatly she would never have posted, never have asked for help.

This army of victims, trying to encourage another to join their band.

Women's sites have become the refuge of the most pathetic, the most tragic victims. Victims who identify with their abusers.

No, I don't join Women's Fora anymore.


Attitudes, Forum, Message-Board, Opinions, Sex, Women

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author avatar kaylar
I am passionate about history, culture, current events, science and law

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
4th Sep 2011 (#)

A bunch of women bitching does not sound very fun to me.

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author avatar kaylar
4th Sep 2011 (#)

it isn't bitching. Bitching would be cool, we all complain about this and that and see how many of us have a problem with this and that.

Women's sites are homes for masochists. For women who have been abused, who are being abused, who encourage other women to take pleasure from their abuse.

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author avatar Songbird B
9th Sep 2011 (#)

A strong article on an emotive subject, Kaylar. I have never been on a Woman's site, and by the sound of it, wouldn't want to be...This was an insightful and interesting page..Thank you for publishing..

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author avatar kaylar
9th Sep 2011 (#)

You're very welcome songbird. It was quite an eye opener for me, to walk into a site which seemed to be about Women's issues but was really a bunch of battred and abused women who have, for the most part, adapted to their treatment and are virtually encouraing others.

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