Positive Influence: Three Great Ways to Get a Yes!

The Divine Mr. R. By The Divine Mr. R., 7th Apr 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3gy-4atk/
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Personal Development>Social Abilities

Negotiation is everywhere, from the bedroom to the boardroom, and it isn't always easy. Here are three fantastic ways to get a yes out of even the toughest person. All it takes is a bit of practice.

Be A "Bobble-head."

Well, maybe not to that extreme, but in negotiation and sales, we have much to learn from the humble bobble-head figurine. The first tip I will present to you is this: Nod frequently during conversation with someone. If you plan to ask a favor, then this is doubly important!

As seen here research has shown that people are more likely to agree to something if they are nodding while listening. Research also shows that people who are watching someone nod a lot in front of them will do the exact same thing. This is completely normal, we do it all of the time. Remember the last time someone yawned in front of you, and you did it too? The same basic principle is at play. So if you really want something, and want to make it look reasonably natural, nod frequently while you talk. The other person will find it nearly impossible to avoid nodding with you.

Start Small

Call it boiling a frog or call it escalation, the general idea remains the same: Ask for a small thing at first, then work your way up to a larger thing. This is also called a "yes ladder" because people will find it difficult to say no after two or more initial positive responses. Here is how it works:

+ What is the goal you have in mind? If you are a bobble-head salesman, it is unloading a crate of whatever the latest novelty is, if you are a healthy young person, it is a date. Note this goal carefully and move on to...

+ Work backwards from your big goal. Mentally step backwards onto lesser requests. Try to go two or three, maybe four if it is a really big request. A person seeking a date might start off with getting the person of their desire to listen to a joke or spend a few minutes talking. Someone asking for a raise might try for an extra perk or something similar.

+ Now you go for that first yes, your foot in the door! Not to put pressure on you, but this is more important than your end goal, because if this flops you are back to square one. If you are in a professional environment, explain the reason why your request should be granted in a logical, well-planned way. Cover all of your bases. If it is a person reason (like our love-lorn example in the first two steps) just dive in at an opportune time with confidence. Confidence is key, as in all things, personal or professional!

+ Finally, when a yes is given to the first concession, it is officially up to you. Trust has been invested in you by your client, your boss, or the object of your affection; do not let this person down. Doing that now will poison the well, so to speak, and keep you from going further up the "yes ladder."

These simple steps will be of enormous help in getting what you are after. For this version, it is best to wait a day or two between requests before moving up a step. This will allow the person to become comfortable, and for trust to develop normally. A method exists to reduce this time limit, which I may write on later.

Mooch A Little

Note: The title says "a little" not "shamelessly." This is a really simple trick that anyone can do, and some of you may be familiar with it (realistically, some of you know all of the tricks I just wrote on.) Ready for it? Here it is...

Ask to borrow a pen or pencil.

Or just about anything small, really. It is that simple, and here is the reason why: People only lend stuff to people they like. To get a little more complicated; we are complicated. Human beings have survived for thousands of years because we are clever and we work reasonably well in a group. For this reason, certain survival traits were developed, which also gives us loopholes in human behavior to work with. In this case, if you ask a person if you can borrow, say, a pen, they will like you a little more because they have to. They need to justify to themselves why they would lend someone anything. It usually boils down to "well, if I didn't like him, I wouldn't have given him something of mine."

To quote Ben Franklin, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."


Influence, Influencing, Psychology, Socialising

Meet the author

author avatar The Divine Mr. R.
The Divine Mr. R. is an intuitive reader, writer, and Urban Shaman from the Ohio Valley. He will be writing about divination, the paranormal, and chiming in with advice.

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