The true origin of communism and the communist movement.

christopherantonStarred Page By christopheranton, 23rd Nov 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>History

Communism has been a very influential movement in our age, but it's real origins are not known by many. Discover the true origin of the communist movement here, and be prepared to be surprised.

Who founded communism?

One of the most influential movements in the history of the last hundred years has been the International Communist Party. The destinies of huge swathes of the human race has been changed by the influence of the men who developed the theories of dialectical materialism, the dictatorship of the proletariat, the withering away of the state, and other odd notions that ought only to be discussed within the confines of insane asylums, yet came to dominate the philosophy of a whole era, and resulted in the enslavement and murder of huge numbers of human beings in the name of progress and political evolution. Indeed, despite its collapse in Europe and Russia in 1989/1990, the influence of this bizarre aberration in political practise still holds sway in large parts of the world such as China, and one of its most ridiculous, but tragic flowerings can still be seen in the benighted state of North Korea.

The generally accepted view of the history of communism is that it was based on the writings of Karl Marx and Fredrich Engels. "The Communist Manifesto",written by Marx is usually sited as the book that first proposed the historical theories that went on to inspire revolutionaries such as Lenin in Russia, and Mao Tse Tung in China.
As, is frequently the case in history, the real story of the origins of revolutionary communism is not exactly the same as the version that the history books portray. As the President Of The Ancient Order of Secret Historians I am privy to the correct story of how the communist movement originated, and I can tell you now that it was not founded by Karl Marx, or Engels, and that Lenin, Mao, etc far from being influenced by Marxist ideas, were in fact inspired by Dwarfist philosophy. That is indeed the truth of the matter. The Communist Movement was founded by Snow White and The Seven Dwarves.

She wasnt that "snow white" really.

Our story begins in a Castle deep in the heart of The Holy Roman Empire around 1450 AD .The Duke who ruled this small country was very happily married and he had one small daughter called Snow White. There the resemblance to the story as most of you know it is finished. The belief that most people have is that Snow White got her name because of the purity of her white skin. This was not the case. As a child she was freckled if anything, and she had more than her share of acne as well. No the reason why she was given the name that she had was because she was such a spoilt and arrogant little brat that she turned the hair of her nurses and servants white with fear and frustration.

Anyway to get on with our story the first wife of the Duke died and he married for a second time. Wife number two was a quiet respectable Countess from a neighbouring county, and everyone in the country wished them long and happy years together. Everyone except for the duke's daughter that is. Snow White, who was by now a teenager, took an instant dislike to her new stepmother. The fact that, during the time that her father was a widower, he had spent more time with her and she was now beginning to feel a bit neglected did not help. The added fact that she was a malevalent little tyke probably contributed as well. Whatever the reason, the princess proceeded to do everything in her power to make the new duchess's life a misery, and to break up the marriage if at all possible.

One part of the story that has come down to us has it's basis in truth. In the Walt Disney film of Snow White we see an example of the remarkable power that the princess had over animals. In the movie the birds and animals all came together to help clean the dwarves house. That, of course, is a sanitising of the true situation. Far from encouraging instances of domestic utility, the malicious child used to goad the beasts of the forest to rampage throughout the castle, and cause as much misery as possible to the unfortunate duke and his bride. The nastiest thing was when Snow White persuaded a swarm of wasps to build a nest in the conjugal bed.

The following morning as the royal couple plastered camomile over their bodies, to try to ease the agony of the wasp stings, a decision was made. The duke confronted his daughter and told her that unless she moderated her behaviour she would be asked to leave the castle. Snow White, of course, told the duke that she would see them in Hell before one jot of her behaviour would be moderated; and then she stormed out of the castle. The lifting of the atmosphere was palpable, and the duke and his wife got back to rebuilding their almost shattered relationship.

The terrorists attack.

You may be about to ask what all this has to do with the rise of The Communist Movement. Be patient I am just about to come to that.

In a forest about ten miles from the castle lived a group of revolutionary terrorists. They were dedicated to the overthrow of society, and the imposition of common ownership of all property within the dukedom, with themselves as custodians and supervisors over the said common property of course. Nothing changes in revolutionary circles.Like all revolutionaries they had a pathological hatred of the monarchy. They were lead by a bearded bespectacled character called "Doc".This man had formerly been a bona fide doctor of medicine; but, as is still often the case,; the most deluded individuals are frequently the best educated; so after torching the hospital where he worked, he gathered together some likeminded companions and set up a headquarters in the debts of the forest. They called themselves The Seven Dwarves, officially because they were representative of the "Little Oppressed Man", but in reality because they were all vertically challenged. They occasionally emerged from the forest to perpetrate terrorist outrages such as burning farms or cutting the throats of policemen.

It was to their headquarters that the irate Princess came. She had no sympathy for the common man, and no wish to alleviate the conditions of the proletariate. But she was consumed with a great hatred of her father and stepmother, and she felt that the best way to get back on them was to ally herself with the revolutionary opposition to the royal government. Of course she was easily able to dominate the dwarves. They were but men after all, and Snow White could be charming enough when she put her mind to it. Lead now by the princess, who changed her name to Red Blood to signal her new allegiance, they proceeded to escalate their terrorist campaign, and one night in 1462 they succeeded in infiltrating the castle. The duke and his wife only escaped by the skin of their teeth by jumping out the window and swimming across the moat while Red Blood and the Seven Dwarves were battering down their bedroom door.

Of course history is written by the victor, so the story of Snow White, and the wicked stepmother, the magic mirror etc is all fiction. It was written by the dwarf "Doc", and they used the dictatorial powers they assumed after their takeover of the state to make sure that the invented version was the one that was spread abroad. The personality cult that was fostered around the princess could never allow for the true story to ever become known. She even reverted to her old name of Snow White.

Karl Marx was a plagiarist.

Of course history is written by the victor, so the story of Snow White, and the wicked stepmother, the magic mirror etc is all fiction. It was written by the dwarf "Doc", and they used the dictatorial powers they assumed after their takeover of the state to make sure that the invented version was the one that was spread abroad. The personality cult that was fostered around the princess could never allow for the true story to ever become known. She even reverted to her old name of Snow White.

It was only because one of the princess's nurses wrote her memoirs in exile, and deposited them with my ancestors that even secret historians know the exact story.

There is an epilogue to our story that has a bearing on more recent history, and shows the direct connection between communism and those long dead revolutionaries. It is said that when Karl Marx was in exile in London he spent a lot of his time in the British Museum Library, and that he wrote "The Communist Manifesto" there. This is not actually the complete story. The leader of The Seven Dwarves, "Doc" wrote more than one book. He wrote one that never actually got published. It had a latin title. It went something like "Principia Comunistica". It was remarkably similar to the book later ascribed to the founder of communism, but it dwelt more on later middle ages conditions than the nineteenth century. Now I am not going to tell you how I know this, although the photographic evidence will bear me out, but Karl Marx was a direct decendant of "Doc". When he spent time at the British Museum Library he was not writing an original book. He was transcribing, and adapting from the only extant copy of the "Principia Communistica" which is still at the British Library today. So when people speak of "Marxism" today they should actually say "Dwarfism", if they want to be really accurate.

Vladimir Ulanyov(Lenin) was decended from another one of the dwarves whose decendant emigrated to Russia during the reign of Tsar Peter the Great. Photographs of the founder of the Soviet Union again show the resemblance.

That is the end of the history lesson for today; but before someone accuses me of lying, the proof can be established by visiting the British Library. But because "Principia Communistica" is such a precious book it is not available to everyone. In order to be given access to it you must approach the desk at the library and say "RED BLOOD AND THE SEVEN DWARVES". This is the exact code. The words should not vary. They are to be shouted, and they are to be uttered in a south german accent. Voice analytical software is in use to deter niusance applications.

For an account of a terrorist outrage carried out by Red Blood and the Seven Dwarves, and the story of the first chemical weapons attack on european soil read

Early European Terrorism.
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China, Communism, Communist, Communist Country, Communist Origins, Communist Party, Communist System, Communist Terror, Communist Terrorists, Communists, Engels, Funny, Humor, Humour, Karl Marx, Lenin, Leninism, Marxism, Marxist, North Korea, Russian Communism, Seven Dwarves, Snow White, Soviet Communism, Soviet Union, The First Communists, The Founding Of Communism, The Origin Of Communism, The Origin Of The Communist Movement, Theory Of Communism

Meet the author

author avatar christopheranton
Born in Ireland, but living in London since 1986, my main interests are reading, studying history, politics, and theology, and looking after the welfare of my cat. I like to write on a variety of subjects, make general observations on lifes dilemmas....(more)

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Comments

author avatar joeldgreat
23rd Nov 2010 (#)

At first I was surprise the role of snow white in communism, but you have explained it clearly. Thanks for sharing.

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author avatar christopheranton
23rd Nov 2010 (#)

joeldgreat. You are
very welcome. Thanks for commenting.

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author avatar Retired
28th Dec 2010 (#)

I love this article

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author avatar christopheranton
28th Dec 2010 (#)

I'm pleased you did.Lucia.
Thanks for reading.

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author avatar David Reinstein,LCSW
5th Feb 2012 (#)

"From each according to his ability and to each according to his need" was a wonderful notion: Sadly undermined by the same thing that tends to undermine all good humanistic ideas - GREED.

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author avatar christopheranton
6th Feb 2012 (#)

There is a problem with the above saying.
That is that a really lazy person may have
needs as well.
Why should the working population support
such a one?
What undermines communism, is that it takes away the incentive for a person to work hard
and create wealth. That is why communist economies stagnate. Nobody wants to work hard
just to enrich the state.

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