What I hate about camp site shower blocks (by a comfort lover)

blackangelwingsStarred Page By blackangelwings, 6th Sep 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3zl5_903/
Posted in Wikinut>Guides>Outdoor>Camping

Many people in their lives have experienced the 'joys' of camping and caravan holidays. Why do you never stop wishing things will get better and warmer?

What I hate about camp site shower blocks.

Call me a wimp and you will be pretty close to the truth but in my defence I am a half glass full type of a gal. This is the reason I often agree to take trips with relatives and friends that at first mention I really should run for the hills and keep running.
The hills and their true green beauty are the problem I guess , so is the temptation of blue seas and rock pool filled holiday beaches. The chance to travel and explore somewhere different in the wonderful country of Britain promises such daydreams and thoughts of freedom that before I know it I am packed and on my journey. With dog in tow I always enjoy the pretty sights whilst travelling. The car is warm, the views make me feel like I am in a bygone essay and 'Life is good'. On arrival however in somewhere that ends up little more than a field I start to feel somewhat wary. A couple of cold taps (roof covered if you are very lucky), hook ups for the electrical stuff and the grim looking toilet come shower block allows reality to re-enter my rose coloured world with a slap .The dog having slept on my lap for hours is in his element of course and thinks he has truly arrived in no less than 'doggie heaven' .
There is no denying that the next morning it is a pleasure to sit eating your Alpen outside on your deckchair (with the delightful clouds parting to welcome the sun )in your PJ's and wellington boots. The dog has been let out and 'catered for' so all that interfears with your plans is the washing and morning business.Yes the dreaded trip to the shower come toilet block.

The fear and journey to the shower block.

So I pack up my little bag with soap , toothbrush and other bits and bobs. Get my clean clothes ready and take a deep breath. Dog is looking at me out of the caravan window all snug and warm (even he can't be bothered to feel the unpleasant ,wet ,grass that can so easily slip underfoot).Is that steam I see rising into the atmos? It is never as warm as you think and the toilet block seems so much further than it looks.
You feel there is an army of eyes looking out of their sleek and very expensive Motor homes and Ultra modern Caravans complete with satellite dishes and this is probably true as' people watching ' is a most enjoyable past time for the 'camper and even their pets!'. You think to yourself does my bum look extra big in these polka dot PJ's? Should I have brushed my' bed head' before setting out on my journey , have I remembered all my underwear and brought my big towel (as opposed to the dog towel!)?' I hope I don't meet anyone with my horrible' morning breath'. Most of all you are secretly thinking' will I make it before the urge to pee takes over?' Please let there be no queue!

Enter the toilet block - if you dare!

So you have passed all the hurdles. Not dropped a single item into the mud, churned up by late arrivals and early leavers. You have been happy that other campers have cleared up after their animals and smiled at the people sitting fully dressed (as they have been for hours) outside their portable homes. You are a dog lover so you are not too unhappy to be faced with that rather large dog 'woofing' at you but securely tethered outside the rather jazzy VW camper. The owners are late risers like you and are cooking up a storm of lovely English breakfast with no holds barred! (The smell is to die for and you make a mental note to have a full English the next day).
All of a sudden you have reached your destination and relief washes over you as it is now light enough to see where you are going without use of a torch (last night you noticed at least one cubicle was without light).You don't slip on the weathered steps down to the toilet block and it's not very muddy inside. Hooray! The temperature has reached a heady 2 degrees as someone has had a shower in the last five minutes. You rush quickly into one of the toilets only to face a flooded floor and so swiftly move to another toilet with sink before anyone else enters your 'world'. The thing is at night you can often scare yourself into thinking that the constant banging of other doors is the searching of Werewolves for victims, in the day it is obvious it is the cold chill of huge draughts that wind their way to every nook and cranny in the building. The realisation that the back of door hook is missing allows for early morning cursing and the stray hairs from other bathroom users is definatly uncalled for. You see your reflection whilst searching for the toothpaste and want to scream.
I often think to myself 'why do I feel the need to be clean everyday' but a shower does offer a short relief from the cold (providing you can work out the intricate workings of said invention). If not you will be screaming from the burning heat closely followed by the utterance of foul language as the cold kicks in! The shower also has the smallest of shower trays which means that half way through getting soapy you switch off to complete the job before restarting the water so as not to flood the whole place, where you will shortly be standing and where your belongings are resting on the floor.
The act of balance must also be taken into account. Fit, slim, younger people may only imagine the problem of being middle aged , carrying a few extra wobbly bits and having unexplaned pains of a morning. Trying to dry yourself whilst not wanting to remain on a cold wet slightly muddy floor/unpleasant plastic mat for any longer than needs be requires balance. It also requires not dropping underwear or indeed any clothing and not getting towel ends wet either. To dry feet whilst standing like a flamingo always proves very tricky !
It is by the fourth morning that I feel homesick . Yes I think of all the poor people across the globe that would feel more than blessed to have these facilities and I think how use of a toilet when I can hear others right next to me and visa versa is not the worst thing ever (despite bringing on internal blockages for days at a time). I truly think it is a cross between being out of my comfort zone and being a pampered wimp who hates the cold. Despite the fact that the toilet block offers few comforts except being cleaner than expected (thanks to the hard-working cleaner) it overly impacts a lot on the enjoyment of my holiday both from the first and last visit of the day.

The wee beasties!

Now I may be coming over as a little less than cheery. Apart from the odd flying wasp that comes into the shower block during the day I am fine with the eight legged variety of beastie that often lurks behind the toilet pan or cistern. During daylight hours I say live and let live, your cobweb is your home and so be it. Not so when the sun sets and all I have is the intermittent glow of my not too faithful torch.
Yes I have no problem taking 'doggie' with me on the late night toilet visit for company but he cannot be trusted to leave the evening slug and snail field population alone! Also other users might not enjoy him slipping into their closet or sniffing around bags for food.
So it is a very dark night and what makes things worse is that no other soul seems to be around. Visions of maniacs waiting behind other shower block doors allow the slightest of noise to be ear splitting . Not all the lights work inside the toilets and what loves light more than you do? The hoards of giant moths of course. Their wings buzz in flight as they form queues to burn themselves on the bulb before floating down onto your passing head. Bits of freshly mown grass also provide new refuge for creepy crawlies in the darkened wet corners.The mountain of toothpaste globs around the sink is always a reminder that this is not home.
So I rest my case. Some campers are happy not to shower or wash for days and don't give two hoots about the shower block. Others just grin and bare it (excuse the pun). Some have up to the minute facilities inside their mobile homes. I however am in the category of hating this necessary evil with a passion but one saving grace is that when I do finally return home to the smallest of bathrooms the pleasure is as if I have died and gone to Heaven!

Tags

Camping Caravan Tents Cold Comfort Toilet Toilet B, Motorhomes

Meet the author

author avatar blackangelwings
Hi, I have lived all my life in the beautiful county of Gloucestershire in England. I love to write especially poems. I write for fun and to relax but some of my subjects may seem dark. I seem to have the ability to write down and share ideas about ...(more)

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Comments

author avatar Kerry Rogers
9th Sep 2015 (#)

Loved it!! How spot on this is as I regular camper it made me lol

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author avatar Kerry Rogers
9th Sep 2015 (#)

Loved it!! As a regular 'camper' saw the funny side & completely agree, made me lol

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author avatar blackangelwings
14th Sep 2015 (#)

Hello Kerry, glad you liked my 'subject'! It's always lovely to get feedback so I am happy to have given you a chuckle.x

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